Something I feel is left out of the movement towards informality as standard protocol is that the whole point of formality is the presumption that you know noth

Something I feel is left out of the movement towards informality as standard protocol is that the whole point of formality is the presumption that you know nothing about the other person. Realizing this presumption obviously requires discipline, restraint, and a grasp of mutual benefit. I don't think its incidental that as formality has diminished in communication in exchange for some nebulous notion of anti-authoritarian authenticity, people have become even worse at interacting with strangers spontaneously. This goes hand-in-hand with the demonization (misinterpretation) of small talk. The point is to establish a rhythm and cadence with a stranger without being possibly invasive in content (again, I don't know you); its a road to the destination of "real talk", but today you see it demanded that people "be real" immediately which, to me at least, is much more discipling power as it makes interactions asymmetrical from the get-go. What is "real" for you? What is "real" for me? The war on presumed distance in communication is more segregating, isolating, and disciplining than formal practice I feel. I might even go so far as to wager that formality allows a greater range of neurotypes to socially participate effectively than is current.