Normally, I don't comment on Hacker News, but this one hits a bit close to home. Growing up, I had terrible social skills. It wasn't until 18 that I decided I

Normally, I don't comment on Hacker News, but this one hits a bit close to home. Growing up, I had terrible social skills. It wasn't until 18 that I decided I wanted to change that, the source of my motivation being a good friend of mine who was incredibly social and charismatic; everyone seemed to love him, especially women, while I was mostly unsatisfied with life. Today, I feel like an entirely different person. I think the key to that was the focus I placed on improving. It's tempting to read about how to improve socially, and it does help at first, but there's only so much you can read before you actually have to go out and test things for yourself. The first step is that you must honestly believe that this is something that you can get better at. After that, it's all about running through the cycle of getting ideas (either from others or thinking up new ideas for yourself), testing them out, and seeing how well they worked. There are different ways to be social or charismatic. Don't think you have to copy someone else's style exactly. Although it may be helpful to try out something they do that you think is effective. If it feels good, keep doing it. If it doesn't feel good, ask yourself why. Being mindful of how you're feeling and how the people you're interacting with are feeling is a part of the puzzle that's worth mentioning, as well. This topic is such a complex one that it's hard to write a response that I feel good about right here. I'm going to have to write a blog post about this. I'll leave you with one final message: as daunting as the task of improving your social skills seems, it's worth the effort. It's one of the best decisions that I've ever made. Life, after all, is almost entirely dealing with other people.