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The book/audiobook “How to win friends and influence people” while it has a title I don’t like is actually a guide for solving your exact issue and is especiall

by yoav 5y ago

The book/audiobook “How to win friends and influence people” while it has a title I don’t like is actually a guide for solving your exact issue and is especially useful for people that tend to gravitate to tech. I’m self taught and spent many years agoraphobic as a teen so it was really helpful to get the basics and understand the mechanics. A few startups in and just putting myself in social situations it started to feel a lot more natural and understandable. I think a lot of social things really clicked around 4 years ago went I went into management and got to see both sides of lots of things and just really dig in with people and have them open up about the challenges they’re facing. Also just getting to late twenties and now mid thirties and having always been open about the social things I don’t understand in the movement I can feel normal in most social situations. With that said though, while happily married for 6 years, I still only hang out with friends a handfull of times a year and most of my social life the last 10 has been whatever social things the startup made possible from taco tuesdays to lunch time chat and off sites and slack and video games and coffee runs at the office. Tldr: - some things can be understood but not directly related to - some things take time (years) to internalize but will come with time and practice - other things are just part of who you are and just embrace it and be open about it. You’d be surprised how many other people relate to different facets of social quirkiness even if they appear normal on the surface.

yoav 5y ago
Also pro tip: Find a partner who’s an extrovert and has natural social abilities. It’s made things a lot easier and pushed me out of my comfort zone socially in ways that made my life a lot better and more interesting. Reading through the other replies it looks like a lot of people diagnosing neurodivergence. Maybe that’s true, I guess I might be on the spectrum somewhere if I think about it, but I’m not sure knowing that really helps in any practical for solving for just social misunderstanding. Lean into situations, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, make light of it and be open and people will gravitate to it and help get by. But also remember the goal is to find what you like and live like that, while being able to get by in a world designed for social butterflies and extroverts.

by yoav 5y ago

yoav 5y ago

Also pro tip: Find a partner who’s an extrovert and has natural social abilities. It’s made things a lot easier and pushed me out of my comfort zone socially in ways that made my life a lot better and more interesting. Reading through the other replies it looks like a lot of people diagnosing neurodivergence. Maybe that’s true, I guess I might be on the spectrum somewhere if I think about it, but I’m not sure knowing that really helps in any practical for solving for just social misunderstanding. Lean into situations, don’t be afraid to make mistakes, make light of it and be open and people will gravitate to it and help get by. But also remember the goal is to find what you like and live like that, while being able to get by in a world designed for social butterflies and extroverts.