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> you just need to put yourself out there as much as possible in as many new situations as possible That's a big "just". It takes a lot of time and effort that

> you just need to put yourself out there as much as possible in as many new situations as possible That's a big "just". It takes a lot of time and effort that you might want to spend elsewhere: https://blog.asmartbear.com/two-big-things.html https://blog.asmartbear.com/two-big-things.html > so these people are most likely the ones who have spend their prime years mostly indoor in front of a screen working away on code and algos, chasing that top dream job, instead of "out-there" working with people Who is to say one is strictly better than the other? Sitting indoors in front of a screen for a few years can set you up for life.

RealityVoid 5y ago
I find min-maxing real life rarely to be a good strategy. And obviously, OP feels this is a problem for him, and if so, he should know how to abd be able to address it.
- ZephyrBlu 5y ago
  What part of my comment is about min-maxing real life? The GP addresses "tech workers" in general, not just OP with comments about sitting indoors. My response is in that context, not directed at OP.
  - notreallyserio 5y ago
    The asmartbear blog post comes across a little min-max-y, what with the concrete numbers and assertion that you can't have a job, spouse, and kids at the same time.
beowulfey 5y ago
Well, OP was specifically asking why it seems harder to learn social skills compared to machine learning, so in that context I’d guess the sitting inside was leaving them feeling unfulfilled.
ChuckNorris89 5y ago
>That's a big "just". It takes a lot of time and effort that you might want to spend elsewhere That's true for everything in life as the amount of hours in a day and the amount of days in your life is finite, so it depends on your priorities where you choose to allocate your time and effort. Do you want to chase a top dev career and money? Fine, but don't complain you lock social skills. Do you want to chase social interactions, traveling and partying? Also fine, but don't complain you can't land a top career. >Who is to say one is strictly better than the other? Where did I say that one is better? My point was to exemplify that prioritizing one thing (SW career for example) for multiple years has a consequences of leaving you behind in other areas (social contacts and experiences). >Sitting indoors in front of a screen for a few years can set you up for life. True, and maybe it does, but what if it doesn't due to other factors out of your control and it was survivorship bias at play so you spent your prime years chasing wheelchair wealth instead of enjoying the years and experiences that are never coming back? You can't go back to the high-school or college parties you missed out on, if you're set up for life in your 30's. Time waits for no man and there are no guarantees in life. Even the whole "set up for life" allegory can be a wild goose chase, as unless you have full health and fuck you money, you're never really set-up for life. Again, neither approach is bad or wrong, but it's important to constantly evaluate the consequences and drawbacks of your choices and make corrections when necessary to make sure you stay on track of doing what makes you happy and not get stuck mindlessly running on a hamster wheel chasing a carrot on a stick till you drop dead because of FOMO or pressure from society.
- ZephyrBlu 5y ago
  E: your edited in last paragraph is basically what I'm trying to say. > That's true for everything in life as the amount of hours in a day and the amount of days in our life is finite so it depends on your priorities where you want to allocate your time This is exactly my point. I think having decent/passable social skills is very beneficial, but I also know that having an active social life is very time consuming. Maybe OP only needs to do this for a short time to build up some skills he can use in future. I don't think we disagree, I'm trying to point out the same thing you are. That you can't have it all. > Where did I say that one is better? My point was that prioritizing one thing (SW career) for multiple years has a consequences of leaving you behind in other things (social contacts and experiences) I felt it was implied that this was a poor choice compared to being more social. I also agree there are no guarantees. Personally, I'm naturally less social and more interested in my personal growth, so I'm not particularly bothered by not socializing a lot. I think it's very dependent on your personality.

RealityVoid 5y ago

I find min-maxing real life rarely to be a good strategy. And obviously, OP feels this is a problem for him, and if so, he should know how to abd be able to address it.

ZephyrBlu 5y ago
What part of my comment is about min-maxing real life? The GP addresses "tech workers" in general, not just OP with comments about sitting indoors. My response is in that context, not directed at OP.
- notreallyserio 5y ago
  The asmartbear blog post comes across a little min-max-y, what with the concrete numbers and assertion that you can't have a job, spouse, and kids at the same time.

beowulfey 5y ago

Well, OP was specifically asking why it seems harder to learn social skills compared to machine learning, so in that context I’d guess the sitting inside was leaving them feeling unfulfilled.

ChuckNorris89 5y ago

>That's a big "just". It takes a lot of time and effort that you might want to spend elsewhere That's true for everything in life as the amount of hours in a day and the amount of days in your life is finite, so it depends on your priorities where you choose to allocate your time and effort. Do you want to chase a top dev career and money? Fine, but don't complain you lock social skills. Do you want to chase social interactions, traveling and partying? Also fine, but don't complain you can't land a top career. >Who is to say one is strictly better than the other? Where did I say that one is better? My point was to exemplify that prioritizing one thing (SW career for example) for multiple years has a consequences of leaving you behind in other areas (social contacts and experiences). >Sitting indoors in front of a screen for a few years can set you up for life. True, and maybe it does, but what if it doesn't due to other factors out of your control and it was survivorship bias at play so you spent your prime years chasing wheelchair wealth instead of enjoying the years and experiences that are never coming back? You can't go back to the high-school or college parties you missed out on, if you're set up for life in your 30's. Time waits for no man and there are no guarantees in life. Even the whole "set up for life" allegory can be a wild goose chase, as unless you have full health and fuck you money, you're never really set-up for life. Again, neither approach is bad or wrong, but it's important to constantly evaluate the consequences and drawbacks of your choices and make corrections when necessary to make sure you stay on track of doing what makes you happy and not get stuck mindlessly running on a hamster wheel chasing a carrot on a stick till you drop dead because of FOMO or pressure from society.

ZephyrBlu 5y ago
E: your edited in last paragraph is basically what I'm trying to say. > That's true for everything in life as the amount of hours in a day and the amount of days in our life is finite so it depends on your priorities where you want to allocate your time This is exactly my point. I think having decent/passable social skills is very beneficial, but I also know that having an active social life is very time consuming. Maybe OP only needs to do this for a short time to build up some skills he can use in future. I don't think we disagree, I'm trying to point out the same thing you are. That you can't have it all. > Where did I say that one is better? My point was that prioritizing one thing (SW career) for multiple years has a consequences of leaving you behind in other things (social contacts and experiences) I felt it was implied that this was a poor choice compared to being more social. I also agree there are no guarantees. Personally, I'm naturally less social and more interested in my personal growth, so I'm not particularly bothered by not socializing a lot. I think it's very dependent on your personality.