Another consideration is whether the OP should change their context, even radically. For example, I found it way easier to make friends in the suburbs until I h

Another consideration is whether the OP should change their context, even radically. For example, I found it way easier to make friends in the suburbs until I had a kid. If I didn't plan on having a kid, I shouldn't have moved to the suburbs. I'm not sure any amount of charm would have helped my integrate into the kid-centric culture. I'm generalizing about 'the suburbs' of course - there are many axes on which to evaluate the social scenes of many different areas, so it's just about finding the right fit. maybe move across the country to live in the same town as your best friend, and build from there.