4 ms·

Does this apply to people who play video games? If you play social games like MMOs you're pretty much forced to interact with others. Does that help in any way

Does this apply to people who play video games? If you play social games like MMOs you're pretty much forced to interact with others. Does that help in any way combat the issues?

NetOpWibby 5y ago
I think it does help. I play Fortnite at least once a week with one of my buddies and we catch up on life while playing. We’re also in a group chat and share links and updates there. My wife told me recently that she was jealous of my friendships because of how often we chat. Meanwhile, she’s the more social one and talks on the phone a helluva lot more than I do. Like the article suggested, she definitely manages all the familial relationships with couple friends and keeps in touch with those folks. I see ‘em when I see ‘em LOL (she’s also on Facebook, I’m not). I wouldn’t mind making new IRL friends but I simply do not care. If that happens, great. My small circle of friends I’ve known for at least a decade is enough for me.
haunter 5y ago
> If you play social games like MMOs you're pretty much forced to interact with others That maybe was the case with the oldschool MMOs (Everquest for example) where you could do not do anything alone but nowdays you can pretty much play them as a single player game. FFXIV, WoW, GW2 etc. are incredibly solo friendly. You don't even need to join a guild or such there is automated matchmaking for most group content. You can play these games without ever interacting with any other players. And a lot of people do that because they care more about the world or story or things that don't need other players (see crafting, gathering etc.) Heck even FFXI which soon will be 20 years old is solo friendly thanks to the NPC party members they introduced some years ago.
- claudiawerner 5y ago
  Not to mention the 'lobby' system in many games these days; unless you make friends by chance with people already playing online games, you effectively play with random people on your team, and random people on the other team. Gone are the days where games in which you can join a regular server, where you see your friends, join a clan, etc. are the norm. Now you have to send friend requests to people and hope they accept, and even then, you can't play against your friends in casual play, only with them. Recently I showed my little brother of an online FPS game from 2003, showing someone at a high skill level doing the map objective without help. The player killed everyone in sight with ease. My brother commented, "How the hell was that guy placed in a lobby with all these bad players?". To him, the only way that online FPS games work is that you queue in a lobby to be placed with people of a similar skill level. It didn't occur to him that you used to be able to join a server at a particular IP address and play with regulars and crack jokes with people you've known for years.
  - haunter 5y ago
    On the other hand I don't miss self-hosted lobbies "that" much. I used to play a lot of Dota, the original WC3 mod, and I don't weep for it. The host always had an enormous advantage, there was no penalty if someone left etc. But the community self-moderation was really strong, so leavers and such were weeded out after a time. But today? You just make a new account if you got banned or suspended, penalties are meaningless.
    - claudiawerner 5y ago
      Ah, I understand that frustration; I suppose I had in mind more casual games, that is, no fixed size on teams (anyone can just join and play so long as you're not over the server-set limit of players), and unranked. In ranked games (or games where the objective of winning is more important than just having fun) the lobby system does work better, because you're not really looking for community in that case. If modern games like Overwatch had both systems (join a server with regulars and make friends as 'quick play'; matchmaking for competitive), I think things would be better. The only time I get properly annoyed in a game is when team sizes are fixed, and people are trolling or not pulling their weight. But on a server where anyone can join and you're chatting between spawns? That's fun. Sure, you care about the map objectives, it's not serious. If you lose you just stick around for the next map in the server's rotation and play more.
      - haunter 5y ago
        > If modern games like Overwatch had both systems (join a server with regulars and make friends as 'quick play'; matchmaking for competitive), I think things would be better. afaik you can actually make lobbies in OW (game browser > create). >I suppose I had in mind more casual games, that is, no fixed size on teams (anyone can just join and play so long as you're not over the server-set limit of players), and unranked. This is my problem with survival games like Rust or DayZ. Really good concept, can be played casually, but somehow ends up ultra competitive if you play with randoms :D
- Mirioron 5y ago
  But not being in a guild doesn't mean you're lonely. Maybe the random group finder and other pick up groups are enough to give you social interactions against loneliness?
wahern 5y ago
A recent Atlantic article implies that some studies suggest that social media, and online gaming in particular, may have been a net win for boys: > When girls started spending hours each day on Instagram, they lost many of the benefits of play. (Boys lost less, and may even have gained, when they took up multiplayer fantasy games, especially those that put them into teams.) https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/facebooks-dangerous-experiment-teen-girls/620767/ https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/facebooks-... But boys != men. And I'd be careful not to discount the value of actual face time or the value of private personal discussions, whether in person or electronic--e-mail, IM, etc. Also, physical touching can be important for mental health and men have tended to lack that intimacy even before the Internet , or at least in recent pre-Internet history. Whereas women are constantly touching each other and even regularly paying to be touched--salon, massage, spa, etc. Historically there used to be much more male touching but a variety of unfortunate social dynamics have contributed to the over sexualization of male social physicality.
- ekanes 5y ago
  > physical touching can be important for mental health and men have tended to lack that intimacy even before the Internet I think among many other things, this explains why jiu jitsu continues to grow so much. a) comraderie and shared struggle b) healthy touch c) exercise and all the other stuff, blah blah blah :)

Does this apply to people who play video games? If you play social games like MMOs you're pretty much forced to interact with others. Does that help in any way combat the issues?

NetOpWibby 5y ago

I think it does help. I play Fortnite at least once a week with one of my buddies and we catch up on life while playing. We’re also in a group chat and share links and updates there. My wife told me recently that she was jealous of my friendships because of how often we chat. Meanwhile, she’s the more social one and talks on the phone a helluva lot more than I do. Like the article suggested, she definitely manages all the familial relationships with couple friends and keeps in touch with those folks. I see ‘em when I see ‘em LOL (she’s also on Facebook, I’m not). I wouldn’t mind making new IRL friends but I simply do not care. If that happens, great. My small circle of friends I’ve known for at least a decade is enough for me.

haunter 5y ago

> If you play social games like MMOs you're pretty much forced to interact with others That maybe was the case with the oldschool MMOs (Everquest for example) where you could do not do anything alone but nowdays you can pretty much play them as a single player game. FFXIV, WoW, GW2 etc. are incredibly solo friendly. You don't even need to join a guild or such there is automated matchmaking for most group content. You can play these games without ever interacting with any other players. And a lot of people do that because they care more about the world or story or things that don't need other players (see crafting, gathering etc.) Heck even FFXI which soon will be 20 years old is solo friendly thanks to the NPC party members they introduced some years ago.

claudiawerner 5y ago
Not to mention the 'lobby' system in many games these days; unless you make friends by chance with people already playing online games, you effectively play with random people on your team, and random people on the other team. Gone are the days where games in which you can join a regular server, where you see your friends, join a clan, etc. are the norm. Now you have to send friend requests to people and hope they accept, and even then, you can't play against your friends in casual play, only with them. Recently I showed my little brother of an online FPS game from 2003, showing someone at a high skill level doing the map objective without help. The player killed everyone in sight with ease. My brother commented, "How the hell was that guy placed in a lobby with all these bad players?". To him, the only way that online FPS games work is that you queue in a lobby to be placed with people of a similar skill level. It didn't occur to him that you used to be able to join a server at a particular IP address and play with regulars and crack jokes with people you've known for years.
- haunter 5y ago
  On the other hand I don't miss self-hosted lobbies "that" much. I used to play a lot of Dota, the original WC3 mod, and I don't weep for it. The host always had an enormous advantage, there was no penalty if someone left etc. But the community self-moderation was really strong, so leavers and such were weeded out after a time. But today? You just make a new account if you got banned or suspended, penalties are meaningless.
  - claudiawerner 5y ago
    Ah, I understand that frustration; I suppose I had in mind more casual games, that is, no fixed size on teams (anyone can just join and play so long as you're not over the server-set limit of players), and unranked. In ranked games (or games where the objective of winning is more important than just having fun) the lobby system does work better, because you're not really looking for community in that case. If modern games like Overwatch had both systems (join a server with regulars and make friends as 'quick play'; matchmaking for competitive), I think things would be better. The only time I get properly annoyed in a game is when team sizes are fixed, and people are trolling or not pulling their weight. But on a server where anyone can join and you're chatting between spawns? That's fun. Sure, you care about the map objectives, it's not serious. If you lose you just stick around for the next map in the server's rotation and play more.
    - haunter 5y ago
      > If modern games like Overwatch had both systems (join a server with regulars and make friends as 'quick play'; matchmaking for competitive), I think things would be better. afaik you can actually make lobbies in OW (game browser > create). >I suppose I had in mind more casual games, that is, no fixed size on teams (anyone can just join and play so long as you're not over the server-set limit of players), and unranked. This is my problem with survival games like Rust or DayZ. Really good concept, can be played casually, but somehow ends up ultra competitive if you play with randoms :D
Mirioron 5y ago
But not being in a guild doesn't mean you're lonely. Maybe the random group finder and other pick up groups are enough to give you social interactions against loneliness?

wahern 5y ago

A recent Atlantic article implies that some studies suggest that social media, and online gaming in particular, may have been a net win for boys: > When girls started spending hours each day on Instagram, they lost many of the benefits of play. (Boys lost less, and may even have gained, when they took up multiplayer fantasy games, especially those that put them into teams.) https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/facebooks-dangerous-experiment-teen-girls/620767/ https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/11/facebooks-... But boys != men. And I'd be careful not to discount the value of actual face time or the value of private personal discussions, whether in person or electronic--e-mail, IM, etc. Also, physical touching can be important for mental health and men have tended to lack that intimacy even before the Internet , or at least in recent pre-Internet history. Whereas women are constantly touching each other and even regularly paying to be touched--salon, massage, spa, etc. Historically there used to be much more male touching but a variety of unfortunate social dynamics have contributed to the over sexualization of male social physicality.

ekanes 5y ago
> physical touching can be important for mental health and men have tended to lack that intimacy even before the Internet I think among many other things, this explains why jiu jitsu continues to grow so much. a) comraderie and shared struggle b) healthy touch c) exercise and all the other stuff, blah blah blah :)