The same way you can explain electromagnetism as a field throughout space-time, and then pretend that it's a force transmitted by photons. Feynman once famously

The same way you can explain electromagnetism as a field throughout space-time, and then pretend that it's a force transmitted by photons. Feynman once famously claimed that no one really understood quantum mechanics, if that makes you feel any better; I'm not sure that's strictly true, but perhaps we've simply defined understanding down a bit :-) Usual disclaimer about the pending detection of the graviton, etc, etc. Your last sentence draws an arbitrary distinction between a "force" and a "phenomenon" which does not appear to be borne out in reality, and if I may say so, is at the heart of your trouble understanding why both 1) and 2) are correct.