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I really like this. But I also think it depends on the social dynamic. The extreme form of silence is ghosting or stonewalling. There's certainly power in choos
by quadrangle 5y ago
I really like this. But I also think it depends on the social dynamic. The extreme form of silence is ghosting or stonewalling. There's certainly power in choosing not to speak, but it can also be abuse of power.
If the silence is focused on getting yourself to the place where you have the best compassionate, win-for-all decision about how to engage, that's great. If the silence is basically a refusal to have a relationship based in candor, that can sabotage a relationship.
Lots of dysfunctional relationships have a dynamic where one person withholds and withdraws and the other person gets more and more anxious and aggressive because they are desperate for the other person to engage.
Taken thoughtfully and critically, the idea of allowing silence is excellent. We should certainly not fill silence just because we can't accept it.
- josephg 5y agoYep. Everything powerful can be weaponized - by other people, by ourselves, or by the scared parts in ourselves which are afraid of feeling powerless. Silence. Analysis. Strong emotion. Withdrawal. Violent outbursts. Love. Sacrifice. All of it. Daniel Schmachtenburger talks about this a lot, with lots of examples: https://youtu.be/9QGrffjOFko https://youtu.be/9QGrffjOFko
- andrei_says_ 5y agoAnd let’s remember that in business, like in war, the one with less empathy wins.
- catlikesshrimp 5y agoThe one with the most power ( highest numbers, best weapons) wins. Empathy is lost when war starts. Not all business is zero sum.
- afc 5y agoMaybe I'm very lucky, but that's not my experience in the corporate world. I think there's a lot of 2nd effects and feedback loops that favor cooperative behaviors and strongly penalize jerks, at least in the medium/long term.
- userium 5y agoTrue. Even if we don’t say a word, we still communicate non-verbally. Also, cultural differences have a big impact on how we experience silence. For example, in Finland 'active silence' can be a sign of respect and showing interest by concentrating quietly, but some cultures might experience the silence differently than Finns.