6 ms·

At the college I went to the gay men were very sexually active, with each other, much more so than most hetero men who spent much more time in sexual pursuit th

At the college I went to the gay men were very sexually active, with each other, much more so than most hetero men who spent much more time in sexual pursuit than arrival. So I wonder if some small part of the difference might be that the straight men were more distracted by their unmet needs.

decebalus1 5y ago
> At the college I went to the gay men were very sexually active, with each other, I guess the college would have had a real problem if the gay men were very sexually active with heterosexual men or with women.
- s1artibartfast 5y ago
  What is the problem with that as long as it is consensual? Gay men certainly have sex with straight women and men. I know a gay man that was married to a women for 30 years and fathered 3 children.
  - decebalus1 5y ago
    I was being sarcastic
bifesans 5y ago
Reading your story, it seems to me that gay men are the ones more distracted by our unmet needs.
moate 5y ago
Glad SOMEONE rolled out the "Gay guys always just be fucking!" canard as a reason for checks notes higher reporting of college degrees. I mean we were all thinking it, right? Also, you're very much failing to control here: Everyone in your example was in college! Even those hetero dudes you're talking about were likely going to wind up with college degrees. Also, why wouldn't the gay men be having sex with other gay men? This call out seems weird. Who else would they have sex with? What does this detail provide to your story other than a sense that you seemed to have mentally noted how much sex, and with whom, other people were having? Assuming your hypothesis is right (and not just a continuation of a stereotype the gay community is constantly dealing with), you have any links to studies that show that people who have more sex get more college degrees? I've got this from 2 seconds of google that would point in literally the opposite direction: https://www.chronicle.com/article/study-finds-more-educated-people-have-sex-less-often/ https://www.chronicle.com/article/study-finds-more-educated-...
- kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
  Is it not true that gay men are on average more sexually active than heterosexual men?
  - moate 5y ago
    Is it not true that I cited a study that shows that people who are more educated have less sex and therefor trips this hypothesis up?
    - atom-morgan 5y ago
      That could still be true overall even if a subset of that group behaved differently, right?
    - kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
      Does the study you linked have a section on gays? In any case, I was responding to your general claims along the lines of "gay people have to deal with this connotation all the time", not specifically about the educated gays. I'm aware that some (many? most?) gay people live in monogamic relationships, but overall it seems likely to me that it is easier and more common to have sex for gay people. Simply because of biological incentives (no risk of getting pregnant, higher sex drive).
      - moate 5y ago
        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity#Gay_men_(homosexuals) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity#Gay_men_(homosexua... No, and I'm done with my seminar on why straight people should spend the time they were going to type their comment on "what gay people are like" instead on typing the question into google. Again, "Those gays sure do be fuckin!" is a hurtful stereotype. It's like saying black people like fried chicken.
        kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
        I don't think that link paints such a clear cut picture as you claim. In any case I don't see why you are so defensive about it. I don't mind if black people like fried chicken or not. How is that a hurtful stereotype? I'm German, so I guess many people will think I like sausages and beer. So what? Some stereotypes can also be true. Afaik many studies have found that men have a higher sex drive than women, for example.
nend 5y ago
One common refrain used to discriminate against gay people has been that they are "sexual deviants". Casually throwing out an anecdotal guess that gay people are more college educated because of all the sex they're having is frankly shocking to read. If you're not intentionally discriminating, at the very least you're stereotyping the amount of sexual activity of people based on their sexual orientation and your anecdotal experiences.
- viro 5y ago
  > based on their sexual orientation and your anecdotal experiences. Jump on grindr and see how long it takes to get a hook up vs tinder.
  - notfromhere 5y ago
    Men (gay or straight) are more outwardly sexual and less selective than women. Seems like a water is wet kind of obvious.
    - ksaj 5y ago
      I think you can get a pretty good idea by counting the bath houses. In Toronto gay bath houses greatly outnumber the only one straight bath house, and there are zero lesbian bath houses. This seems to corroborate your theory.
  - nend 5y ago
    I mean even if what you're suggesting is true, there could be dozens of reasons for that. There's still plenty of places in the US where you'll be discriminated against for being openly gay in public, leaving the relative anonymity of apps more necessary for gay people who want to hook up. You're just again stereotyping gay people and saying they have lots of sex. The point is that these types of stereotypes have been, and are still being used today, to discriminate against gay people. Casually suggesting it's true and using it to explain subsequent actions of gay people, with no data or evidence to back it up, is just going to give more fuel to the sterotyping and discriminating that's going on. Where's the data? Is it just gay people who have lots of sex that are more likely to hold a degree? Does this hold true for straight people? Do I need to have sex 3 times per week to get a college degree or can get by with just one per week? You're just making assumptions about gay people sexual habits.

decebalus1 5y ago

> At the college I went to the gay men were very sexually active, with each other, I guess the college would have had a real problem if the gay men were very sexually active with heterosexual men or with women.

s1artibartfast 5y ago
What is the problem with that as long as it is consensual? Gay men certainly have sex with straight women and men. I know a gay man that was married to a women for 30 years and fathered 3 children.
- decebalus1 5y ago
  I was being sarcastic

bifesans 5y ago

Reading your story, it seems to me that gay men are the ones more distracted by our unmet needs.

moate 5y ago

Glad SOMEONE rolled out the "Gay guys always just be fucking!" canard as a reason for checks notes higher reporting of college degrees. I mean we were all thinking it, right? Also, you're very much failing to control here: Everyone in your example was in college! Even those hetero dudes you're talking about were likely going to wind up with college degrees. Also, why wouldn't the gay men be having sex with other gay men? This call out seems weird. Who else would they have sex with? What does this detail provide to your story other than a sense that you seemed to have mentally noted how much sex, and with whom, other people were having? Assuming your hypothesis is right (and not just a continuation of a stereotype the gay community is constantly dealing with), you have any links to studies that show that people who have more sex get more college degrees? I've got this from 2 seconds of google that would point in literally the opposite direction: https://www.chronicle.com/article/study-finds-more-educated-people-have-sex-less-often/ https://www.chronicle.com/article/study-finds-more-educated-...

kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
Is it not true that gay men are on average more sexually active than heterosexual men?
- moate 5y ago
  Is it not true that I cited a study that shows that people who are more educated have less sex and therefor trips this hypothesis up?
  - atom-morgan 5y ago
    That could still be true overall even if a subset of that group behaved differently, right?
  - kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
    Does the study you linked have a section on gays? In any case, I was responding to your general claims along the lines of "gay people have to deal with this connotation all the time", not specifically about the educated gays. I'm aware that some (many? most?) gay people live in monogamic relationships, but overall it seems likely to me that it is easier and more common to have sex for gay people. Simply because of biological incentives (no risk of getting pregnant, higher sex drive).
    - moate 5y ago
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity#Gay_men_(homosexuals) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promiscuity#Gay_men_(homosexua... No, and I'm done with my seminar on why straight people should spend the time they were going to type their comment on "what gay people are like" instead on typing the question into google. Again, "Those gays sure do be fuckin!" is a hurtful stereotype. It's like saying black people like fried chicken.
      - kkjjkgjjgg 5y ago
        I don't think that link paints such a clear cut picture as you claim. In any case I don't see why you are so defensive about it. I don't mind if black people like fried chicken or not. How is that a hurtful stereotype? I'm German, so I guess many people will think I like sausages and beer. So what? Some stereotypes can also be true. Afaik many studies have found that men have a higher sex drive than women, for example.

nend 5y ago

One common refrain used to discriminate against gay people has been that they are "sexual deviants". Casually throwing out an anecdotal guess that gay people are more college educated because of all the sex they're having is frankly shocking to read. If you're not intentionally discriminating, at the very least you're stereotyping the amount of sexual activity of people based on their sexual orientation and your anecdotal experiences.

viro 5y ago
> based on their sexual orientation and your anecdotal experiences. Jump on grindr and see how long it takes to get a hook up vs tinder.
- notfromhere 5y ago
  Men (gay or straight) are more outwardly sexual and less selective than women. Seems like a water is wet kind of obvious.
  - ksaj 5y ago
    I think you can get a pretty good idea by counting the bath houses. In Toronto gay bath houses greatly outnumber the only one straight bath house, and there are zero lesbian bath houses. This seems to corroborate your theory.
- nend 5y ago
  I mean even if what you're suggesting is true, there could be dozens of reasons for that. There's still plenty of places in the US where you'll be discriminated against for being openly gay in public, leaving the relative anonymity of apps more necessary for gay people who want to hook up. You're just again stereotyping gay people and saying they have lots of sex. The point is that these types of stereotypes have been, and are still being used today, to discriminate against gay people. Casually suggesting it's true and using it to explain subsequent actions of gay people, with no data or evidence to back it up, is just going to give more fuel to the sterotyping and discriminating that's going on. Where's the data? Is it just gay people who have lots of sex that are more likely to hold a degree? Does this hold true for straight people? Do I need to have sex 3 times per week to get a college degree or can get by with just one per week? You're just making assumptions about gay people sexual habits.