It seems that you're taking the best aspects of many people and combining them into one idealized person. This is most clear in your post when you transition fr

It seems that you're taking the best aspects of many people and combining them into one idealized person. This is most clear in your post when you transition from speaking about people who are "very intelligent" because they have graduate degrees, and then directly after that you mention how many people earn exceedingly well. It doesn't really work like that. If you pick a life of academia, you typically forfeit high pay although you likely aren't motivated by currency anyway); while conversely moving into industry with a vicious interest in money will more likely land you there. This is similar to the problem with social media. People see the highlights and assume they're missing out on life. We often forget that the few victories (which may seem small compared to the years of effort places in them) that we have are shuffled into that feed, so everyone gets their moment of fame. Don't get too upset about it and keep remembering that it's because were all sharing these moments that it seems like people are doing so much. We are, but its collective. Dont worry, you're doing great.