This was strangely motivational. Given how you write and your degree of introspection you can get to where you want to be. One thing I realized lately, is the

This was strangely motivational. Given how you write and your degree of introspection you can get to where you want to be. One thing I realized lately, is the hard work you put in today may not bear fruit for a while. There's also a power of compounding. Ultimately it all starts with what you are passionate about. Not to be rude, it's good you feel shallow and dumb, because it shows you perceive the absence. So now it's a question of what you do with that feeling. What gets you excited today? How can you start making baby steps towards that? Start small, and remember if you make 1% towards something every day, that will really quickly start to add up. The worst thing you can do is nothing! And then you'd grow old, look back at your life, and feel the regret of what you could have done, when now you are old, graying, wrinkly and dying. Isn't life too short to have that regret? And you are only 30!