I have two comments. One is, why do you feel the need to be remembered and be great in the first place? Most people won't. Maybe the problem is your desire, whi

I have two comments. One is, why do you feel the need to be remembered and be great in the first place? Most people won't. Maybe the problem is your desire, which is something you may be able to change. Acceptance in combination with my second comment may be a good way forward for you. I'm personally not that productive despite broad and deep knowledge and I accept that I won't be great because I enjoy what I do. Second, you say you're self-taught and you probably have a lot of experience. Why don't you start learning computer science online at this point? Not just another skill to stack on but something to contextualize everything and broaden your horizons while deepening what you already know about (not something unrelated: keep specializing.) I've done this with some things and it can be really mind-blowing to fill in some gaps, more than you might expect. Make sure you take care of the relationships in your life too. You may just be looking for what you need in the wrong place here.