I feel you. I’ve been to programming since I was a kid and made a career out of it. Nowadays, I see kids doing shit that would blow many (most?) professionals o

I feel you. I’ve been to programming since I was a kid and made a career out of it. Nowadays, I see kids doing shit that would blow many (most?) professionals out of the water, a seeming experts in very difficult domains. For as long as I’ve been programming, I haven’t made or done anything notable or worthy of any sort of intrigue by my standards. Most people I have immediate relationships with would probably consider me pretty damn successful, and most people on places like here would consider me middling hack. I don’t really want either of their ideas of “success”, but the dumb ideas I have of it. Don’t get me wrong. I know a little about a lot. Mostly things that are of no value whatsoever, and only enough to make me sound like I have some level of expertise. But if I real expert stepped in I’d likely get schooled immediately (as had happened many times). I don’t think I’ll be able to do more with my career in software than I already have, nor drive it in the direction I’d like. And frankly, I’m getting tired of the “a little more money, same bullshit” stuff. I still have love for programming, but the way I inherently approach it and work are just not going to ever get me anywhere. I too, have spent some years bouncing across a handful of interests, typically only to find out I don’t have what it takes to even get a few inches deep into it (whether that be cognitive ability,focus, or whatever). I’ve seriously thought about going into academia for a bit to get the thrill of working on edge of something, hoping that the structure and resources provided might show me something new, but that’s mostly because of the implementation), but it feels like a distant pipe dream more than anything. By the time I’d be able to do to, I’d likely be to old to fit the profile of what that type of organization wants from somebody, and me doing anything remotely novel or innovative feels so alien. I don’t even want recognition or immortalization, or even money really. I just want to have worked on something that I’m proud of.