Customer: I need my internet. The technician is 2 hours late and I need a steady stream of cat gifs directly injected into my veins to stay alive. Response: O

Customer: I need my internet. The technician is 2 hours late and I need a steady stream of cat gifs directly injected into my veins to stay alive. Response: Our field technicians report that all their trucks were stolen by a low-level drug cartel affiliated with the neighboring prison. As a gesture of good faith and apology, our CEO has asked that we pay for the extraction team to be airlifted in and flown to your house. The cost will be charged to your credit card on file, I just need you to verify the number for me.