I think he argues quite harshly against himself and says that his actions cannot be excused. He seems to harbour quite a bit of guilt and shame around this topi

I think he argues quite harshly against himself and says that his actions cannot be excused. He seems to harbour quite a bit of guilt and shame around this topic. For context, bipolar is one of the highest suicide risk diseases due to this. When you come out of a manic episode you tend to feel intense shame and guilt for your actions. For reference, 1 in 2 bipolar will attempt suicide in their life. 1 in 5 will successfully end their life in the long run. So it is important to take his real admission of guilt and request for forgiveness into account.