It is actually a 2001 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport with 175K miles on it. Trying to figure out the trigger but it's like when I come down from a gear doing around

It is actually a 2001 Dodge Grand Caravan Sport with 175K miles on it. Trying to figure out the trigger but it's like when I come down from a gear doing around 45-55 the van jolts short and there is a loud cluck and then it slips into neutral and then catches back in gear. And yes, like shit is the right way to put the treatment. But I understand, it is so hard for people to not see my disorder as something I willfully express on the world. I know a better understanding is around the corner, but I am afraid treatments will take longer to appear. It is a slow process. And thanks.