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Classic in marriage counseling. Many fights occur not because of what the other person has said or done, but because what your own brain has added to their beha
by leobg 5y ago
Classic in marriage counseling. Many fights occur not because of what the other person has said or done, but because what your own brain has added to their behavior. Often, you see what you are most afraid of. Or what you used to experience in childhood. To “see” that your partner here and now is actually completely different takes a lot of energy.
- xeromal 5y agoYou have to clear the cache constantly.
- HenryKissinger 5y agoInsufficient memory to perform operation. Your brain will go to sleep in 5...4...3...2...1...
- daemoens 5y agoIs this a reference to a book or a show? That seems like something I'd really like to read.
- trhway 5y agoIt isn't that straightforward for GAN.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- alx__ 5y agoYou can actually just overwrite the neurons. But it requires multiple exposures to new perspectives.
- leobg 5y agoThat’s a great way of phrasing it! The book “Radical Honesty“ shows one way how this can be done. (Basically, doing one “core dump“ when you begin dating, and then having regular “radical honesty sessions“ where both of you can bring up those apparently “small“ and “unimportant“ thoughts you might have had throughout the week that, if suppressed, can turn into the seeds of resentment.)
- rks404 5y agoholy crap this is a very useful insight for me. Thank you!
- SubiculumCode 5y agoTHE BIGGEST issue in marriages, no doubt.
- qwerty456127 5y agoAnd usually the reason of most marriages in the first place. People feel limerence, hallucinate all sorts of fantastic things about each other, themselves and their future and take that seriously.
- qwerty456127 5y agoObviously. But can this possibly be turnt off? Maximizing reliability of perception/judgement and minimizing energy efficiency (burn as much calories as possible without moving or any feelable effort) seems right what we need nowadays.
- throwaway984393 5y agoThat would imply binary controls over both cognitive and metabolic function, so I'm gonna say no. "Maximizing reliability of perception" is also not really a thing, because perception is pretty subjective. And I don't think you actually want to minimize energy efficiency, unless sprinting while doing calculus after 72 hours of no sleep is your hobby?
- qwerty456127 5y ago> And I don't think you actually want to minimize energy efficiency, unless sprinting while doing calculus after 72 hours of no sleep is your hobby? No, my "hobby" is laying flat and loosing fat (which is done mostly by the brain burning calories AFAIK). I once gained sixpack abs this way. Unfortunately I don't have enough time to lay flat these days so I don't have the six pack any more. I also am very aware of the tricks my brain plays on me all the time and hate that. Humans don't need to save energy any more. Energy-saving and accumulating features of a human body are an atavism doing obvious harm (e.g. inclining us towards wrong judgement) and no good in today world. We have infinite amount of calories readily available 24x7 all year round. Sugar is dirt-cheap, almost everyone has at least some fat deposits they don't need, don't want and occasionally torture themselves to get rid of. It would certainly be great if our brains could expend as much energy as physically possible to actually power our perception and thinking rather than save it.
- throwaway984393 5y ago> laying flat and loosing fat [..] I once gained sixpack abs this way > It would certainly be great if our brains could expend as much energy as physically possible That's... not how the body works. You should really talk to a med student so you don't make any dangerous health decisions.
- synlatexc 5y agoReminded of these lines from a poem: We look at the world once, in childhood. The rest is memory.
- vmception 5y agoTry acid. Enjoy the childlike wonder. Or don’t enjoy, not everything a child perceives is fun.
- axiosgunnar 5y agoWould magic mushrooms be fine as well?
- s0ulphire 5y agoSure would. Both work (partly) by increasing the communication between different parts of your brain. It's why people will "see" things after auditory stimuli, or vice versa. Changes at this basic level are temporarily re-writing how your neural network connects to itself, which translates to a change in how you perceive the world at the most fundamental level. It is very different from consciously trying to adopt a different perspective, as in that case there is no change to the underlying network processing everything that makes you yourself. Some people find experiencing this malleability extremely upsetting and disconcerting, as it destroys the idea of your "self" being something concrete. This understanding is the oft-referenced "ego death", and for sure it is both exciting and terrifying.
- vmception 5y agoa lot of people like mushrooms over LSD because “they're natural”, they are poison and can make your stomach ache throughout your first trips until your tolerance builds, this can exacerbate negative aspects of your experience Acid (LSD) is much stronger in muuuch lower doses and is more of a refined component - its a totally different dose scale. Doesn't mean you wont have a bad trip though, just that your stomach won't hurt lol. Buckle up. Great way to spend 500 years in an afternoon.
- 5y ago
- vmception 5y agoEasy for what I consider to be mature people.
- deleted 5y ago[deleted]
- karmelapple 5y agoNonviolent Communication, the concept and the book that teaches it, gives practical guidance on how to avoid falling into this trap. Highly recommended.
- throwaway211118 5y agoYes and: - https://dougnoll.com/de-escalate/nonviolent-communication-basics/ https://dougnoll.com/de-escalate/nonviolent-communication-ba... > Many people ask me about the difference between Nonviolence Communication basics and the Noll Affect Labeling System. This lengthy article explains those differences. Fundamentally, we peacemakers want to minimize human conflicts, calm people down, solve problems, and make durable agreements for lasting peace. Peacemaking and mediation help achieve these goals. Unfortunately, as will be explained, psychologists, counselors, therapists, peacemakers and mediators have mistakenly tried to create empathy through the use of "I" statements during active listening. "I" statements are important, but not for creating empathy and certainly not for de-escalating anger or other strong emotions. The inappropriate use of "I" statements comes from a misunderstanding of the work of Thomas Gordon, the inventor of active listening, and Marshall Rosenberg, the creator of Nonviolent Communication. I highly recommend Douglas Noll's book, _De-Escalate_.