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High school kid (HSK), Elementary School kid (ESK) HSK has a cellphone (iPhone), ESK does not, and will not get till ESK is in High School. HSK got cellphone

by yumraj 5y ago

High school kid (HSK), Elementary School kid (ESK) HSK has a cellphone (iPhone), ESK does not, and will not get till ESK is in High School. HSK got cellphone in 9th grade. HSK has the iPhone parent thing on his phone so that HSK needs permission for installing apps. No social media apps of any kind, except Join me, which is used by school (I had to compromise here). HSK is ok with it. At home: We don't use FB, Instagram, TikTok, Discord.. They are all blocked at home via pi-hole, now I also have pfsense. Kids are OK with it since I've bad mouthed social media enough :). Once kids are off to college, will see - at least I've delayed it and hopefully they will be a bit more mature. YouTube apps are not allowed on TV or gaming devices. YouTube use via computer is allowed, since its heavily used by educational websites. Both kids have computers for school work. No time limit for most part. I occasionally monitor older via remote logging, but have stopped. It's not worth it. If they want to hide they will hide. They play video games (Switch or PS5) every day for 30 minutes, strictly enforced. Any video game, except very mature, are allowed, but NO online game pay or online game of any kind. ESK also uses Scratch on the computer and likes it. But that is educational. TV is extra and watched by the kids unmetered, but is generally not more that 30min-1hr, if they are free and work is done. They always ask before watching TV. EDIT: In High School some clubs required FB for activity planning and so on. I had gone and argued with the principal in public meetings about this and why is that a requirement. My HSK was OK with not joining clubs if FB was required.

aerovistae 5y ago
This seems like one of the best schemes I've heard here so far. Only part I disagree with is the "no multiplayer online games" - they are addictive, I've lost a lot of time to them in my life, so maybe you're right, but I want to believe moderation is better than abstinence.
- yumraj 5y ago
  no multiplayer online games are for two reason: 1) as you said, they can be addictive since they are designed that way. 2) I have no control over who they are playing with, the sort of language that is/will be used (though I'm a potty mouth so ..) and what it can/may lead to. I feel a lot of people prey on kids via these channels, though I may be wrong. It's just an additional layer, but overall kids haven't complained about it.
  - aerovistae 5y ago
    Yeah #1 I can get behind but fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern. In the past 20 years I've probably spent 8,000ish hours playing multiplayer games online, since I was about 11 or so, and never once in all that time had someone pull anything inappropriate. I do see plenty of foul language of course, but you get plenty of that from any direction you turn in the modern world anyway. And probably in the pre-modern world too. Back then I also joined voice chat with a lot of adult guys who were 10-20 years older than me when I was a teenager, and still all of them were just totally normal dudes who had a long day at work and were trying to relax with some Halo or something at the end of the night. Conversation was always 100% normal. Internet forums and social media outlets are probably worse in this respect, and especially for girls. That's where I hear most of the manipulation stories coming from, where some poor kid was tricked into sending illicit content that was then used against them, etc.
    - yumraj 5y ago
      > fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern Thanks, good to know.. I guess I can relax a bit if my kids ever ask about a specific online games and pester me a bit :) I do kind of agree with the rest of your comment also...

by yumraj 5y ago

aerovistae 5y ago

This seems like one of the best schemes I've heard here so far. Only part I disagree with is the "no multiplayer online games" - they are addictive, I've lost a lot of time to them in my life, so maybe you're right, but I want to believe moderation is better than abstinence.

yumraj 5y ago
no multiplayer online games are for two reason: 1) as you said, they can be addictive since they are designed that way. 2) I have no control over who they are playing with, the sort of language that is/will be used (though I'm a potty mouth so ..) and what it can/may lead to. I feel a lot of people prey on kids via these channels, though I may be wrong. It's just an additional layer, but overall kids haven't complained about it.
- aerovistae 5y ago
  Yeah #1 I can get behind but fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern. In the past 20 years I've probably spent 8,000ish hours playing multiplayer games online, since I was about 11 or so, and never once in all that time had someone pull anything inappropriate. I do see plenty of foul language of course, but you get plenty of that from any direction you turn in the modern world anyway. And probably in the pre-modern world too. Back then I also joined voice chat with a lot of adult guys who were 10-20 years older than me when I was a teenager, and still all of them were just totally normal dudes who had a long day at work and were trying to relax with some Halo or something at the end of the night. Conversation was always 100% normal. Internet forums and social media outlets are probably worse in this respect, and especially for girls. That's where I hear most of the manipulation stories coming from, where some poor kid was tricked into sending illicit content that was then used against them, etc.
  - yumraj 5y ago
    > fwiw I think #2 isn't a real concern Thanks, good to know.. I guess I can relax a bit if my kids ever ask about a specific online games and pester me a bit :) I do kind of agree with the rest of your comment also...