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We tried taking the phone from our teenager as punishment for something and it was like taking a needle from a heroin addict.

cmrdporcupine 5y ago
Absolutely. This happened just last week and it was the worst -- door locked and barricaded shut, would not eat dinner, wouldn't talk to us for hours, just the worst. Terrifying parent moment and all we did was put our foot down. So hard to set the limits and enforce them.
- watwut 5y ago
  I think it is because loss of phone also means social isolation during that period.
  - novok 5y ago
    Public desktop computer, group chat / video call apps only?
  - 908B64B197 5y ago
    Especially with COVID, that pretty much cuts her off from all of her friends, leaving her only able to talk with her parents and her younger brother who she can't relate to instead of venting out to her friend and cooling off. Her school, extracurricular and free time with her social circle were already taken out from her and now the phone? And we all know whatever social life her friend circle has won't stop. She's just going to be left out. Once again. I get that this is HN and a lot of people here probably didn't care to be left out (or convinced themselves they didn't).
    - blitz_skull 5y ago
      This also assumes that the OP lives in a place with strict COVID restrictions. In plenty of places in the country you can still meet up IRL, and schools are back fully in-person. In those cases, this is little more than just basic grounding.
      - cmrdporcupine 5y ago
        Indeed. She goes to high school every day, is fully vaccinated, and sees her friends all the time. And we were only taking the phone for the night and maybe the next day... if she didn't make her lunch and shower.
  - cmrdporcupine 5y ago
    It was literally just taking the phone away for the rest of the day, that's it. So, no.
  - senjindarashiva 5y ago
    So basically like getting grounded, which I thought was the worst that could happen but looking back it was probably for the best and made me rethink some bad behaviors. I believe the key there is the fact that my parents made it clear why I was being grounded and spent the time explaining it to me.
Nextgrid 5y ago
Wouldn't the same apply to adults though? "Phone" can be used for a lot of different things, including some that are harmful, but basic communication with his peers is IMO essential and denying that is a significant problem (especially now in a pandemic).
colinmhayes 5y ago
At least you know it's an effective incentive.
- cmrdporcupine 5y ago
  Turns out it isn't because my teen was willing to go nuclear rather than respond to the incentive.

cmrdporcupine 5y ago

Absolutely. This happened just last week and it was the worst -- door locked and barricaded shut, would not eat dinner, wouldn't talk to us for hours, just the worst. Terrifying parent moment and all we did was put our foot down. So hard to set the limits and enforce them.

watwut 5y ago
I think it is because loss of phone also means social isolation during that period.
- novok 5y ago
  Public desktop computer, group chat / video call apps only?
- 908B64B197 5y ago
  Especially with COVID, that pretty much cuts her off from all of her friends, leaving her only able to talk with her parents and her younger brother who she can't relate to instead of venting out to her friend and cooling off. Her school, extracurricular and free time with her social circle were already taken out from her and now the phone? And we all know whatever social life her friend circle has won't stop. She's just going to be left out. Once again. I get that this is HN and a lot of people here probably didn't care to be left out (or convinced themselves they didn't).
  - blitz_skull 5y ago
    This also assumes that the OP lives in a place with strict COVID restrictions. In plenty of places in the country you can still meet up IRL, and schools are back fully in-person. In those cases, this is little more than just basic grounding.
    - cmrdporcupine 5y ago
      Indeed. She goes to high school every day, is fully vaccinated, and sees her friends all the time. And we were only taking the phone for the night and maybe the next day... if she didn't make her lunch and shower.
- cmrdporcupine 5y ago
  It was literally just taking the phone away for the rest of the day, that's it. So, no.
- senjindarashiva 5y ago
  So basically like getting grounded, which I thought was the worst that could happen but looking back it was probably for the best and made me rethink some bad behaviors. I believe the key there is the fact that my parents made it clear why I was being grounded and spent the time explaining it to me.

Nextgrid 5y ago

Wouldn't the same apply to adults though? "Phone" can be used for a lot of different things, including some that are harmful, but basic communication with his peers is IMO essential and denying that is a significant problem (especially now in a pandemic).

colinmhayes 5y ago

At least you know it's an effective incentive.

cmrdporcupine 5y ago
Turns out it isn't because my teen was willing to go nuclear rather than respond to the incentive.