A less cancerous comparison (but by no means good) might be to approach this from a statistical/distributions point of view. What quantile of the population do

A less cancerous comparison (but by no means good) might be to approach this from a statistical/distributions point of view. What quantile of the population do I belong to? Still a comparison, but you set the bounds early. If you have to do the damn thing, whether by quirk of personality or impulse, at least make it explicit.