4 ms·

> Most of us consider (or used to consider; and I'm not even old) that enjoyable. Eh, I’m 50 years old and don’t really use social media (certainly not Faceboo

> Most of us consider (or used to consider; and I'm not even old) that enjoyable. Eh, I’m 50 years old and don’t really use social media (certainly not Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, twitter, etc.). I don’t even really text other people. But, I don’t agree with your sentiment. I’ve never understood people who want to have small talk with strangers. It is the opposite of enjoyable.

cpach 5y ago
To each their own. To me it can definitely be enjoyable. Yes, I’m an extrovert (most of the time).
II2II 5y ago
Heck, I'm not even a fan of small talk. It's not as though I have an aversion to talking. Discussing things of mutual interest is fine. Listening to people who have interesting stories, or even need to get something off their chest, is fine. But small talk has always struck me as the means by which people fill silence. You don't really learn anything about each other.
- mmcdermott 5y ago
  Small talk can certainly be a vacuous attempt to fill the silence. It also seems to act as a social lubricant, moving with easy questions and accelerating into something more meaningful.
ipdashc 5y ago
That is completely fair. And I agree it doesn't have to be enjoyable, nor do we all have to specifically seek it out, or even engage in it when offered. But to call it "labor" or "a chore" or (I've even seen this once) an "attack" just seems... excessive, and indicative of an unhealthy mindset.
honkdaddy 5y ago
Someone complimented my hat in the subway today. I mentioned I got it back in Toronto, and we chatted about how disappointed we are in the Leafs. What is so unenjoyable about that? How can one spend 50 years on this earth and find human conversation, something we literally evolved to do, so uninviting? I just don't understand.
- irrational 5y ago
  I can literally go weeks without speaking a word (I have), and I am totally comfortable with that. I would have made a great monk with a vow of silence. I am very comfortable in my own skin and don't need interaction with other people to maintain good and positive mental health.
  - cpach 5y ago
    Ah. Very interesting. I really appreciate you sharing this, makes me ponder how people can have very different preferences. I would become incredibly restless after 3-4 days of not speaking to anyone. Different strokes for different folks I guess!
  - honkdaddy 5y ago
    That's very interesting - we really are all different

cpach 5y ago

To each their own. To me it can definitely be enjoyable. Yes, I’m an extrovert (most of the time).

II2II 5y ago

Heck, I'm not even a fan of small talk. It's not as though I have an aversion to talking. Discussing things of mutual interest is fine. Listening to people who have interesting stories, or even need to get something off their chest, is fine. But small talk has always struck me as the means by which people fill silence. You don't really learn anything about each other.

mmcdermott 5y ago
Small talk can certainly be a vacuous attempt to fill the silence. It also seems to act as a social lubricant, moving with easy questions and accelerating into something more meaningful.

ipdashc 5y ago

That is completely fair. And I agree it doesn't have to be enjoyable, nor do we all have to specifically seek it out, or even engage in it when offered. But to call it "labor" or "a chore" or (I've even seen this once) an "attack" just seems... excessive, and indicative of an unhealthy mindset.

honkdaddy 5y ago

Someone complimented my hat in the subway today. I mentioned I got it back in Toronto, and we chatted about how disappointed we are in the Leafs. What is so unenjoyable about that? How can one spend 50 years on this earth and find human conversation, something we literally evolved to do, so uninviting? I just don't understand.

irrational 5y ago
I can literally go weeks without speaking a word (I have), and I am totally comfortable with that. I would have made a great monk with a vow of silence. I am very comfortable in my own skin and don't need interaction with other people to maintain good and positive mental health.
- cpach 5y ago
  Ah. Very interesting. I really appreciate you sharing this, makes me ponder how people can have very different preferences. I would become incredibly restless after 3-4 days of not speaking to anyone. Different strokes for different folks I guess!
- honkdaddy 5y ago
  That's very interesting - we really are all different