3 ms·
Emo Philips on subdivisions of religion: Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves y
by gcanyon 5y ago
Emo Philips on subdivisions of religion:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me, too! What franchise?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region."
I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.
- skinkestek 5y agoFor those who don't know: This is funny but for most Christians wildly incorrect (I'll add another funny one that used to be somewhat correct in my case towards the end.) As a Christian I'll more or less want to save anyone who is in danger, no questions asked, as long as it doesn't put anyone else in danger. The reason is simple: besides being the obvious right thing to do as a human it also means we'll either have a good person living here for a while longer or a bad person will get another chance to change their ways (and have a very powerful reminder to do it). I believe this is true for most of us. As promised, an actual funny joke that used to hit home with me : As someone enters heaven they go past multiple groups and the tour guide say: here are the righteous from this group and here are the righteous from that group until suddenly he tip toes past a door, saying: "here's <x> group and they think they are alone here". (That said I'm still afraid many will be up for a rude awakening whatever group they feel they belong to if they aren't don't actually walk the walk.)
- oleganza 5y agoCaptain Obvious suggests that Emo Philips was not joking about throwing anyone off the cliff, but about the very fact that political subdivisions in religions pretend to be about which moral values are more correct, instead of being dirty power games of self-proclaimed authorities covered up by thick layers of ideology. Our imaginary gods do not care either way and there is no evidence that we should care either.
- skinkestek 5y agoskinkestek suggests that based on observation, not only in the case of religion but also in a number of other cases, captain Obvious is not visible to everyone, not even on HN. You might think this is obvious but I think I have seen worse ideas taken "hook, line and sinker". After all, common sense seems to be a rather scarce resource. Edits: yes, to match the style better.