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"If someone asks a question I can easily answer; even if they are being “lazy” (which I believe to be an overused, and misunderstood word), or even trolling, I

"If someone asks a question I can easily answer; even if they are being “lazy” (which I believe to be an overused, and misunderstood word), or even trolling, I answer it in good faith. If I don’t have time, I say “I’m not able to answer that, right now,” or simply ignore it, if I can do so, in a way that does not come across as judgmental." That is a nice habit, but I actually think I have the right to sometimes answer in a judgmental way, to honestly communicate my emotions about the topic (time wasting). And I found out, that this can work, too. But yes, if I am particulary annoyed, that can also lead to other people getting afraid to ask me anything at some point and rather continue do something stupid.

ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
Oh, I have the right (and linguistic skill) to be dick majuere. But, like so many of these “rights,” I should also expect to be held to account, and suffer consequences, for exercising said “right.” If people see me being cooperative, helpful, and a source of good information, they will develop one type of opinion of me. If they see me as prickly, judgmental, arrogant, and pugilistic, then they will develop another type of opinion of me. Depending on who is developing that opinion, the consequences (and rewards) to me can be quite significant.
- hutzlibu 5y ago
  "If people see me being cooperative, helpful, and a source of good information, they will develop one type of opinion of me." Yes, and sometimes that opinion might be: "this is the idiot who does all the work for you, if I just ask him". That would be a significant consequence for you. I do not know you, nor if you have ever been in that situation, but I've known too many helpful people getting exploited this way - and I have choosen to not try to exploit, nor be exploited.
  - ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
    > "this is the idiot who does all the work for you, if I just ask him" Hasn't been a problem for me, so far (and it's been around 35 years). Learning how to respectfully say "no" is an important life skill. Pays dividends way beyond just not being treated as the office Wikipedia. We seem to have unrealistically low opinions of our peers. I don't know if I've ever worked with anyone that has wanted me (or anyone else) to do their work for them. I have known a number of folks that were "in over their heads," and tried to hide the fact, but it never lasted too long. I guess I've been fortunate.

ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago

Oh, I have the right (and linguistic skill) to be dick majuere. But, like so many of these “rights,” I should also expect to be held to account, and suffer consequences, for exercising said “right.” If people see me being cooperative, helpful, and a source of good information, they will develop one type of opinion of me. If they see me as prickly, judgmental, arrogant, and pugilistic, then they will develop another type of opinion of me. Depending on who is developing that opinion, the consequences (and rewards) to me can be quite significant.

hutzlibu 5y ago
"If people see me being cooperative, helpful, and a source of good information, they will develop one type of opinion of me." Yes, and sometimes that opinion might be: "this is the idiot who does all the work for you, if I just ask him". That would be a significant consequence for you. I do not know you, nor if you have ever been in that situation, but I've known too many helpful people getting exploited this way - and I have choosen to not try to exploit, nor be exploited.
- ChrisMarshallNY 5y ago
  > "this is the idiot who does all the work for you, if I just ask him" Hasn't been a problem for me, so far (and it's been around 35 years). Learning how to respectfully say "no" is an important life skill. Pays dividends way beyond just not being treated as the office Wikipedia. We seem to have unrealistically low opinions of our peers. I don't know if I've ever worked with anyone that has wanted me (or anyone else) to do their work for them. I have known a number of folks that were "in over their heads," and tried to hide the fact, but it never lasted too long. I guess I've been fortunate.