Agreed, it's a tricky balance. To be clear, I don't believe I've ever said these "rules" aloud. When someone comes to me for help, the first step is for them

Agreed, it's a tricky balance. To be clear, I don't believe I've ever said these "rules" aloud. When someone comes to me for help, the first step is for them to explain the problem. The next step is for them to discuss what solutions they're considering. If they're at a loss, I open a browser window and ask them what they think a good query would look like, and pattern behavior that helps them in the future, and we work off of that for a bit before I may suggest actual implementation strategies, and walk through pros and cons of each approach.