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This kind of works okay when the other person is agreeing to being coached, but sometimes you want to express something without it being something to be immedia

by ljm 5y ago

This kind of works okay when the other person is agreeing to being coached, but sometimes you want to express something without it being something to be immediately fixed. Because it sounds like you're not hearing the frustration, and skipping a few steps ahead. It's great when someone wants it, but do it often enough or by default and people will start cutting you out of the loop. Because it's genuinely exhausting. I've been on both sides of this, especially when I did coaching training and then thought I could use it for everyone.

xyzelement 5y ago
>> This kind of works okay when the other person is agreeing to being coached This is a great point and totally agree. It's a little frustrating to have to spell out the entire context of the relationship in this case but people are for some reason eager to assume a context that puts the conversation in the worst possible light rather than seeing "oh yeah ok sometimes there's room for that kind of thing" and obviously you wield the tool with judgement. One thing I really do appreciate is that some workplaces seem more geared for coaching and feedback than others. I haven't worked at Amazon for example but I understand that one of the reasons it's considered a hard place to work is that it's "not OK" to not want to improve and grow, so you give implicit consent to be coached by working there (obviously there's still room for empathy and handing it well) whereas other organizations (Google) seem to prioritize in-the-moment happiness so there's potential to be missing out on vital feedback for years - I actually asked about this a lot in my interviews there.