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> As someone with narcolepsy, your daily ritual is everything that makes my life horrible. I'm sorry you're in a shitty situation, but it's unfair to blame GP'

> As someone with narcolepsy, your daily ritual is everything that makes my life horrible. I'm sorry you're in a shitty situation, but it's unfair to blame GP's perfectly reasonable ritual for it. It's your narcolepsy that makes your life horrible, not their ritual, and it's quite unfortunate.

34523trefds12 5y ago
You seem to have missed the point of not just the article, but the OP. If you read the article, it advocates asynchronous conversation, and 'micro' updates. In other words rather than forcing people to update at a specific time, that whilst convenient for you, is not convenient for all we should consider allowing people to do what they need to do and empower them to respond appropriately. This is why OP mentioned that _your_ daily ritual is hurting them, because you are _forcing_ them to adhere to what works for you at _their_ expense. It also goes both ways, but we cannot ask one to always considers us, and allow their needs to go unattended because it doesn't fit our narrative.
- Talanes 5y ago
  >This is why OP mentioned that _your_ daily ritual is hurting them, because you are _forcing_ them to adhere to what works for you at _their_ expense. Technically true, but it's not like the "ritual" is some weird obscure requirement. Showing up on time is pretty much a default requirement of society. At least they're in a field where being slightly late results in embarrassment instead of firing.
8note 5y ago
The ritual is ok, but assuming people don't respect you because they aren't good at following it isn't.
- sodapopcan 5y ago
  Not sure you really read my comment properly. I’m advocating for teams to do whatever they see for themselves. What my team does is what we decided as a team, there are no assumptions. I am in no way saying the decisions of my team are in some way superior, I was just sharing what we do along with others.
- mpfundstein 5y ago
  dude (m/f), i guess EVERYONE would respect you being late if they knew you had a condition..
  - YokoZar 5y ago
    By far the most common complaint from support groups for people with sleep disorders is the sheer lack of respect people have for different sleep schedules. We get called lazy even when we work past midnight. By coworkers, and even family. The usual advice is to find a different job with actually flexible scheduling or night shifts, for good reason.
  - hinkley 5y ago
    You have no idea how many neurodiverse and chronically ill people in your company are trying to pass for normal. Our fixation on “normal” makes people resist getting help that would make their lives easier and possibly make it easier for them to be “out”. You have no idea what your coworkers are struggling with. I found out one had stage 4 cancer by asking why it was taking him so long to fix a problem. I’ve had exactly one coworker in >20 years who was open about being on the autism spectrum, and people were weird about it. Nobody wants to be defined by these things so they don’t bring them up.
    - mpfundstein 5y ago
      thats the problem then, right? i bet if people would just open up, in general the reactions would be positive. at least at the places were I worked at.
      - hinkley 5y ago
        You’re asking for people to live in a future that doesn’t exist. You don’t need “in general the reactions” to be positive, you need 100% of your bosses and peers to have a positive reaction, and you need to be able to predict it ahead of time because you can’t but that cork back in the bottle. Developer communities can be small. That information could affect future employment opportunities as well.
- hinkley 5y ago
  It’s gatekeeping, when you get right down to it.

34523trefds12 5y ago

You seem to have missed the point of not just the article, but the OP. If you read the article, it advocates asynchronous conversation, and 'micro' updates. In other words rather than forcing people to update at a specific time, that whilst convenient for you, is not convenient for all we should consider allowing people to do what they need to do and empower them to respond appropriately. This is why OP mentioned that _your_ daily ritual is hurting them, because you are _forcing_ them to adhere to what works for you at _their_ expense. It also goes both ways, but we cannot ask one to always considers us, and allow their needs to go unattended because it doesn't fit our narrative.

Talanes 5y ago
>This is why OP mentioned that _your_ daily ritual is hurting them, because you are _forcing_ them to adhere to what works for you at _their_ expense. Technically true, but it's not like the "ritual" is some weird obscure requirement. Showing up on time is pretty much a default requirement of society. At least they're in a field where being slightly late results in embarrassment instead of firing.

8note 5y ago

The ritual is ok, but assuming people don't respect you because they aren't good at following it isn't.

sodapopcan 5y ago
Not sure you really read my comment properly. I’m advocating for teams to do whatever they see for themselves. What my team does is what we decided as a team, there are no assumptions. I am in no way saying the decisions of my team are in some way superior, I was just sharing what we do along with others.
mpfundstein 5y ago
dude (m/f), i guess EVERYONE would respect you being late if they knew you had a condition..
- YokoZar 5y ago
  By far the most common complaint from support groups for people with sleep disorders is the sheer lack of respect people have for different sleep schedules. We get called lazy even when we work past midnight. By coworkers, and even family. The usual advice is to find a different job with actually flexible scheduling or night shifts, for good reason.
- hinkley 5y ago
  You have no idea how many neurodiverse and chronically ill people in your company are trying to pass for normal. Our fixation on “normal” makes people resist getting help that would make their lives easier and possibly make it easier for them to be “out”. You have no idea what your coworkers are struggling with. I found out one had stage 4 cancer by asking why it was taking him so long to fix a problem. I’ve had exactly one coworker in >20 years who was open about being on the autism spectrum, and people were weird about it. Nobody wants to be defined by these things so they don’t bring them up.
  - mpfundstein 5y ago
    thats the problem then, right? i bet if people would just open up, in general the reactions would be positive. at least at the places were I worked at.
    - hinkley 5y ago
      You’re asking for people to live in a future that doesn’t exist. You don’t need “in general the reactions” to be positive, you need 100% of your bosses and peers to have a positive reaction, and you need to be able to predict it ahead of time because you can’t but that cork back in the bottle. Developer communities can be small. That information could affect future employment opportunities as well.
hinkley 5y ago
It’s gatekeeping, when you get right down to it.