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I started going by a nickname as an adult and that was what made me realize the voice in my head that constantly told me I wasn't good enough wasn't mine, but m
by smeej 5y ago
I started going by a nickname as an adult and that was what made me realize the voice in my head that constantly told me I wasn't good enough wasn't mine, but my narcissistic father's.
It still called me by the name he gave me, not the name I call myself.
So now it's under the same restrictions he is. It doesn't have my permission to speak to me anymore.
- josephg 5y agoDoes that work? When you tell that voice to shut up, does it fall silent?
- smeej 5y agoNo more than my actual father's voice does, but that doesn't mean I have to hear it. From my family members who are still in touch with him, I hear that my dad sends me angry or manipulative messages fairly frequently, but just like I have all my electronic forms of communication set to delete his messages without opening them because I've firmly decided I don't care what they say, the rest of my mind dismisses his voice in my head as pathetic, irrelevant, and not even worth hearing. Once I realized the opinions of that voice deserved to be regarded with contempt--specifically contempt, and _very_ occasionally pity--it became much easier not to be their victim.