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That reminds me of a saying I heard a few years ago: "Be careful how you talk to your children. In their darker moments, thats the voice they'll use to talk to
by josephg 5y ago
That reminds me of a saying I heard a few years ago: "Be careful how you talk to your children. In their darker moments, thats the voice they'll use to talk to themselves".
- 7952 5y agoSome parents will constantly narrate the world as they imagine it from their babies perspective. Like they are standing in for consciousness that has not developed yet. Makes me wonder if the differences in how parents do this could effect inner voice later on.
- smeej 5y agoI started going by a nickname as an adult and that was what made me realize the voice in my head that constantly told me I wasn't good enough wasn't mine, but my narcissistic father's. It still called me by the name he gave me, not the name I call myself. So now it's under the same restrictions he is. It doesn't have my permission to speak to me anymore.
- josephg 5y agoDoes that work? When you tell that voice to shut up, does it fall silent?
- smeej 5y agoNo more than my actual father's voice does, but that doesn't mean I have to hear it. From my family members who are still in touch with him, I hear that my dad sends me angry or manipulative messages fairly frequently, but just like I have all my electronic forms of communication set to delete his messages without opening them because I've firmly decided I don't care what they say, the rest of my mind dismisses his voice in my head as pathetic, irrelevant, and not even worth hearing. Once I realized the opinions of that voice deserved to be regarded with contempt--specifically contempt, and _very_ occasionally pity--it became much easier not to be their victim.