5 ms·

>Buy less stuff that is going to be thrown out. There has to be a word, maybe from a different language, that describes the feeling/fear of giving someone a gi

by dqv 5y ago

>Buy less stuff that is going to be thrown out. There has to be a word, maybe from a different language, that describes the feeling/fear of giving someone a gift they will throw out. It's a feeling that is intertwined with the anxiety of getting rid of a gift someone has given me. I've resorted to giving people edibles (the regular kind, not the psychoactive kind), but it feels thoughtless.

fknorangesite 5y ago
> I've resorted to giving people edibles (the regular kind, not the psychoactive kind), but it feels thoughtless. But...it's the thought that counts. Why would a gift of food/drink/whatever be less thoughtful? Particularly if it's homemade, isn't it moreso?
- dqv 5y ago
  I bought a bunch of Japanese KitKats as gifts last year, but it was more of a "oh shit it's the middle of November and I haven't gotten anything yet" so that's where the feeling thoughtlessness comes from. It did feel better than giving someone something they might not use though.
missedthecue 5y ago
Lottery tickets are a fun and inexpensive gift. I always get my nephews scratchers. The surprise is fun, the chances of them winning something are high, and everybody likes money.
- Cerium 5y ago
  FYI this is a gift that requires knowing the recipient well. One of my aunts got me and my sister some scratchers one year and we were pretty disappointed, a few minutes later and we managed to turn $30 into $3. Maybe we would enjoy it more if we were gamblers? But we would never buy a lotto ticker or a scratcher ourselves.
  - Semaphor 5y ago
    I liked those as a little kid (up to maybe 14), once I was slightly smarter, I would have hated them. I allowed myself one proper lottery ticket in my life and finally bought it when I was 32. Sadly I didn’t win anything.
jsemrau 5y ago
What Covid has shown for global nomads like me is that being together is the greatest gift. Contributing by bringing food and having a fun and memorable* time is not thoughtless; it is the way. *in a good way
BurningFrog 5y ago
I used to bring a giant package of toilet paper to housewarming parties, just so I knew it would be used. Also, not everyone buys enough to last the whole party. Been a while since I got invited to one, but I'm sure that's unrelated.
- smnrchrds 5y ago
  You must have been very popular in Q2 2020.
- HWR_14 5y ago
  Although I don't care, I will point some people have very strong brand attachments to toilet paper. And maybe you were a psycho who brought single-ply to a house with a sewer or ultra-stuffed to a house with a septic.
kelnos 5y ago
> I've resorted to giving people edibles (the regular kind, not the psychoactive kind), but it feels thoughtless. Please don't think this is thoughtless! I personally much prefer consumables (or experiences) as gifts over "stuff".
robocat 5y ago
The word is obligation. If you are giving obligations, then find something else to give that has no obligation attached but is still desirable. Consumable items or experiences that are desirable due to high quality or rarity or other specialness are a good default. If people are giving you obligations, then gently ask for gifts that don’t need any ongoing future commitment from you.

by dqv 5y ago

fknorangesite 5y ago

> I've resorted to giving people edibles (the regular kind, not the psychoactive kind), but it feels thoughtless. But...it's the thought that counts. Why would a gift of food/drink/whatever be less thoughtful? Particularly if it's homemade, isn't it moreso?

dqv 5y ago
I bought a bunch of Japanese KitKats as gifts last year, but it was more of a "oh shit it's the middle of November and I haven't gotten anything yet" so that's where the feeling thoughtlessness comes from. It did feel better than giving someone something they might not use though.

missedthecue 5y ago

Lottery tickets are a fun and inexpensive gift. I always get my nephews scratchers. The surprise is fun, the chances of them winning something are high, and everybody likes money.

Cerium 5y ago
FYI this is a gift that requires knowing the recipient well. One of my aunts got me and my sister some scratchers one year and we were pretty disappointed, a few minutes later and we managed to turn $30 into $3. Maybe we would enjoy it more if we were gamblers? But we would never buy a lotto ticker or a scratcher ourselves.
- Semaphor 5y ago
  I liked those as a little kid (up to maybe 14), once I was slightly smarter, I would have hated them. I allowed myself one proper lottery ticket in my life and finally bought it when I was 32. Sadly I didn’t win anything.

jsemrau 5y ago

What Covid has shown for global nomads like me is that being together is the greatest gift. Contributing by bringing food and having a fun and memorable* time is not thoughtless; it is the way. *in a good way

BurningFrog 5y ago

I used to bring a giant package of toilet paper to housewarming parties, just so I knew it would be used. Also, not everyone buys enough to last the whole party. Been a while since I got invited to one, but I'm sure that's unrelated.

smnrchrds 5y ago
You must have been very popular in Q2 2020.
HWR_14 5y ago
Although I don't care, I will point some people have very strong brand attachments to toilet paper. And maybe you were a psycho who brought single-ply to a house with a sewer or ultra-stuffed to a house with a septic.

kelnos 5y ago

> I've resorted to giving people edibles (the regular kind, not the psychoactive kind), but it feels thoughtless. Please don't think this is thoughtless! I personally much prefer consumables (or experiences) as gifts over "stuff".

robocat 5y ago

The word is obligation. If you are giving obligations, then find something else to give that has no obligation attached but is still desirable. Consumable items or experiences that are desirable due to high quality or rarity or other specialness are a good default. If people are giving you obligations, then gently ask for gifts that don’t need any ongoing future commitment from you.