I have this tendency, too. I don't necessarily think of myself as negative; I think of myself as a realist, and reality has some hard truths. I find that many o

I have this tendency, too. I don't necessarily think of myself as negative; I think of myself as a realist, and reality has some hard truths. I find that many other people don't want to talk about the bad things. I wouldn't describe myself as a stoic, but I do relate to the idea of focusing on the negative as a strategy for being able to tolerate my existential dread. I should note that there is an opposite to this: toxic positivity. It's equally irritating when someone refuses to acknowledge the elephants in the room. The biggest changes in how I have approached my tendency towards negativity are trying to practice acceptance, gratitude, and action. I had to teach myself that there is so much to be gained by accepting reality, whether it was my preferred reality or not. Travel really helped me with this. When traveling, I find myself limited by missing context and language. And yet, it's so rewarding. Some of my best travel memories come from things that didn't go to plan. I also try to accept other people's perception. If someone thinks something is good, which I think is bad, I try to "steelman" why that may be before writing off their perception. I'm not sure how I came to feel deeper levels of gratitude. I guess it's just that as I've gotten older, I've internalized a deeper awareness of how well I have it. I can still put myself in the headspace of a younger, more angsty me. If that person could see my life today, he would be dumbstruck. And I've also just learned the hard way that tomorrow is not promised. My luck can turn on a dime, so I need to enjoy what I've got, while I have it. I've also tried to take more responsibility and initiative for the things I want to see changed. I try to live by a rule that if something is bugging me, I need to reflect on why that is, and decide if I'm going to devote my time and effort towards it. If not, I need to attenuate the level of attention I'm giving it. Action is as much about what I don't do as what I do. For the things that I am going to take on, I try to challenge myself to go the extra mile, whether or not I will be successful. I'm not a doggedly determined person, and so I don't always see the results I want. But every now and then, the payback is extremely worthwhile. I believe that practicing acceptance, gratitude, and action has changed how I communicate. I still am very adept at pointing out problems. But that's not all I do. I think those other 3 things come out, as well, and I think that makes me a more balanced person to the people who have to communicate with me. I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea, and I try to live with that. Speaking of which, I try to be aware the extent to which the people around me can handle my unfiltered "realism". Some folks are right there with me. For the others, I try to prioritize how much realism they need to hear from me within an interval of time.