Honestly, I think the problem is just that SQL isn't a particularly great language. This is an example of where the syntax and semantics are coupled so tightly

Honestly, I think the problem is just that SQL isn't a particularly great language. This is an example of where the syntax and semantics are coupled so tightly that it's just gonna be confusing no matter what you do. My vote would be to not even bother with a "literate" kind of language.