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I was in a similar position to you (minus the murder part). The only thing that pulled me out of it was Prozac. I wrote up my experiences here: https://twitter.

I was in a similar position to you (minus the murder part). The only thing that pulled me out of it was Prozac. I wrote up my experiences here: https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150 https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150 I have sex on a regular basis, and it's not nearly as bad as these side effects make it sound. It's different, sure, but you can definitely have enjoyable sex. You need to take antidepressants every single day for at least 30 days before you'll notice any effect whatsoever. Every day, without fail. If you haven't tried that yet, I urge you to; it was nothing short of miraculous, and there was no reason for me to live so many years in misery.

hellojesus 5y ago
Thank you for taking the time to post this. I'll take a look at your experiences and consider taking action.
- R0b0t1 5y ago
  If you try anything, ask for Wellbutrin first if it is not the first thing prescribed. There are usually not any libido or lethargy issues. You may have ADHD and may want to get tested for it. I'm looking for a doctor to go to again, but being an adult the ones I've seen so far think I just want drugs. Complications from ADHD look a lot like depression.
  - sillysaurusx 5y ago
    I don’t think libido or lethargy is the most important consideration. The consideration is whether it eliminates suicidal thoughts. For me, Prozac was the only thing that worked, and this advice would’ve led me astray.
    - R0b0t1 5y ago
      If you want to discount libido that is at least halfway excusable, but that depends on the individual. Lethargy, which almost always comes with libido issues, is more problematic, as it causes weight gain and a corresponding decrease in life expectancy. It an be hard or impossible to combat. I've had people tell me they discontinued their medication due to weight gain (or libido issues, as in this thread).
  - hellojesus 5y ago
    This is really interesting. May I ask why you came to the ADHD conclusion in the first place? Was it solely the correlation between depression/anxiety and adhd? I did a quick search and came across a few articles such as the following one: https://totallyadd.com/23-signs-you-do-not-have-adhd/ https://totallyadd.com/23-signs-you-do-not-have-adhd/ I was surprised to find I exhibit many of these symptoms. Most prominently having stacks of things throughout the office/house which contain various half-worked projects or hobbies or just general information. My shieldmadien constantly complains about the "disaster" and is always shocked when she asks where something is, and I'm able to go straight to the pile of junk which contains exactly what she's looking for. Other things like time being an elusive concept or going to another room to get something and then getting there and having no idea what I am supposed to be doing are also frequent occurrences. I know where my car keys are, but that's only because I have a very specific plastic tray on the kitchen counter that is supposed to contain them and my wallet. If they disappear from there because I get distracted between walking into the house and emptying my pockets then it's usually a hunt for them. I tend to bounce between new projects but get obsessively engrossed with them at the start... and then just never complete them. Not sure if I actually have it, but it is an interesting thought.
    - R0b0t1 5y ago
      > Was it solely the correlation between depression/anxiety and adhd? Yes, but partially also your existence on HN. Depression/anxiety + well read is almost always some shade of ADHD in my experience (of observing people who get diagnosed by doctors). Giving up isn't a bad thing. I've given plenty of things up, usually after either realizing I was right or finding someone else had done it.
      - hellojesus 5y ago
        Very interesting. Thank you for the follow-up. I'll do some more investigating into it.
R0b0t1 5y ago
That last part isn't true. People report credible effects of positive mood immediately. The issue is you can't necessarily trust these self-reports and it takes roughly 1-2 weeks for someone with a clipboard to start writing down results that correlate with a perceived increase in mood. Some adverse reactions to SSRIs are so bad people will kill themselves if they go a month. If it doesn't feel right you should just stop taking them.
- sillysaurusx 5y ago
  That last part is my own experience. It was so true for my case that I nearly didn’t discover Prozac at all, because I gave up after the first week. It wasn’t until many years later that I knuckled down with the consistency, since I had nothing to lose. As it turned out, I had everything to gain. All of this should be done with the supervision of a doctor.

hellojesus 5y ago

Thank you for taking the time to post this. I'll take a look at your experiences and consider taking action.

R0b0t1 5y ago
If you try anything, ask for Wellbutrin first if it is not the first thing prescribed. There are usually not any libido or lethargy issues. You may have ADHD and may want to get tested for it. I'm looking for a doctor to go to again, but being an adult the ones I've seen so far think I just want drugs. Complications from ADHD look a lot like depression.
- sillysaurusx 5y ago
  I don’t think libido or lethargy is the most important consideration. The consideration is whether it eliminates suicidal thoughts. For me, Prozac was the only thing that worked, and this advice would’ve led me astray.
  - R0b0t1 5y ago
    If you want to discount libido that is at least halfway excusable, but that depends on the individual. Lethargy, which almost always comes with libido issues, is more problematic, as it causes weight gain and a corresponding decrease in life expectancy. It an be hard or impossible to combat. I've had people tell me they discontinued their medication due to weight gain (or libido issues, as in this thread).
- hellojesus 5y ago
  This is really interesting. May I ask why you came to the ADHD conclusion in the first place? Was it solely the correlation between depression/anxiety and adhd? I did a quick search and came across a few articles such as the following one: https://totallyadd.com/23-signs-you-do-not-have-adhd/ https://totallyadd.com/23-signs-you-do-not-have-adhd/ I was surprised to find I exhibit many of these symptoms. Most prominently having stacks of things throughout the office/house which contain various half-worked projects or hobbies or just general information. My shieldmadien constantly complains about the "disaster" and is always shocked when she asks where something is, and I'm able to go straight to the pile of junk which contains exactly what she's looking for. Other things like time being an elusive concept or going to another room to get something and then getting there and having no idea what I am supposed to be doing are also frequent occurrences. I know where my car keys are, but that's only because I have a very specific plastic tray on the kitchen counter that is supposed to contain them and my wallet. If they disappear from there because I get distracted between walking into the house and emptying my pockets then it's usually a hunt for them. I tend to bounce between new projects but get obsessively engrossed with them at the start... and then just never complete them. Not sure if I actually have it, but it is an interesting thought.
  - R0b0t1 5y ago
    > Was it solely the correlation between depression/anxiety and adhd? Yes, but partially also your existence on HN. Depression/anxiety + well read is almost always some shade of ADHD in my experience (of observing people who get diagnosed by doctors). Giving up isn't a bad thing. I've given plenty of things up, usually after either realizing I was right or finding someone else had done it.
    - hellojesus 5y ago
      Very interesting. Thank you for the follow-up. I'll do some more investigating into it.

R0b0t1 5y ago

That last part isn't true. People report credible effects of positive mood immediately. The issue is you can't necessarily trust these self-reports and it takes roughly 1-2 weeks for someone with a clipboard to start writing down results that correlate with a perceived increase in mood. Some adverse reactions to SSRIs are so bad people will kill themselves if they go a month. If it doesn't feel right you should just stop taking them.

sillysaurusx 5y ago
That last part is my own experience. It was so true for my case that I nearly didn’t discover Prozac at all, because I gave up after the first week. It wasn’t until many years later that I knuckled down with the consistency, since I had nothing to lose. As it turned out, I had everything to gain. All of this should be done with the supervision of a doctor.