5 ms·

As someone dating in their 20s, it is getting hard to find people who aren’t having SSRI-related dysfunction. Recently met an older (early 30s guy) and it was s

by n8cpdx 5y ago

As someone dating in their 20s, it is getting hard to find people who aren’t having SSRI-related dysfunction. Recently met an older (early 30s guy) and it was seriously cool having a sexual experience that didn’t end with “don’t bother I’m just not going to finish no matter how long we go.” They really seem to be handing out these serious, almost-impossible-to-withdraw medications like candy on Halloween. They don’t actually solve the problem long term, you can’t really come off them ever (I know a lot of people who have tried; only one who succeeded and they were on an exceedingly low dose to begin with - it took six months before the frightening neurological symptoms subsided), and they permanently damage ability to have human connection (I don’t understand how that doesn’t worsen depression and anxiety long term). I get that I’m the asshole for suggesting that people take a second look at the side effect profile and consider whether these might be overprescribed. I get that they do make life better overall for some people. I’ve also seen my friends become psychotic and ruin their lives when they try to get off them (because the sexual side effects and weight gain were unbearable). So IDK, it feels urgent enough to raise as a concern. Especially when so many people are taking them. I see a lot of people given SSRIs for anxiety that could probably be better treated by e.g. not smoking so much weed. It is hard to manage the underlying factors that drive people to alcohol and drug use, but I think probably easier than being rendered impotent by SSRIs. I get that seemingly everyone is depressed these days, but I really question giving SSRIs, which have poor efficacy and devastating side effects, before demanding lifestyle change. Walking 10k steps and CBT are useful interventions that can be easily monitored by physicians with modern technology. I guess good for half the 20-something cohort for not being able to orgasm really ever, but it’s not great for building the physical aspect of human connection, which I maintain is important. IDK what society looks like when half the prime age population isn’t able to have a fulfilling or enjoyable sex life.

FFRefresh 5y ago
I do wonder if there's a culture-wide bug/meme with regards to mental health (and beyond) that makes it hard to push for lifestyle changes at scale. I think one such meme is around agency, with the underlying meme being that humans have no control over their circumstances or mental state. They have anxiety or they have depression. It's part of their identity, and these seem to be thought of as immutable diseases. And it's a social faux pas to suggest to someone with anxiety (particularly someone you are not super close with) that if they altered their behavior and consciously tried to work on their thought patterns, that they could get better. In our culture now, that gets translated as 'blaming the victim', because with a victim mindset, such a suggestion implies that it's the fault of the person. It's an unfortunate state of affairs. It feels like we are increasingly leaning into concepts such as an 'external locus of control' and 'learned helplessness' as a society. I don't know how we can push back on these ideas at scale, but if we don't, it's hard not seeing mental health issues and the externalities of the easy pharmacological solutions expand.
- iammisc 5y ago
  You're absolutely right. This is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think anxiety or depression are mental illness. They are just feelings. Your feelings do not make you ill... People attribute it to a 'chemical' imbalance, but your brain being run by chemical fluctuations, everything is a 'chemical' balance, including this comment I'm typing right now. What we've done is taken these brain fluctuations, and labeled them bad, without addressing why one's brain is thinking this. I am an anxious person. I have had several terrible things happen to me that have led to prolonged periods of depression. Ultimately, these things are a choice, and people need to be taught good skills for coping with the sad realities of life. Life is ultimately a long series of sufferings, ending in death, which one can either choose to embrace or to worry about. Unfortunately, as a society we have stopped teaching all the traditional tools one would use to get oneself out of such funks.
  - vettedvat 5y ago
    You're describing situational depression. Very different than major depressive disorder or dysthymia for which these drugs are often prescribed. Common mistake.
    - iammisc 5y ago
      'Major depressive disorder' is just situational depression applied to every situation. Common mistake. Many psychiatrists and psychologists make the same mistake. Many psychiatrists, by virtue of their education, are part of a class of people who are themselves more prone to depression and anxiety, so we probably shouldn't be looking to them for great advice.
      - vettedvat 5y ago
        Wrong again, a psychologist would not make that mistake. They know what those words mean; you just googled them. Luckily you didn't even try explain away dysthymia from your armchair because, well, you have nothing to stand on. > Many psychiatrists, by virtue of their education, are part of a class of people who are themselves more prone to depression and anxiety Yikes, now we're just on to blind speculation.
LorenPechtel 5y ago
The doctors don't seem to care about the side effects. All the psych drugs have horrendous side effects which get basically ignored. I've even seen multiple suggestions that mass shootings might be a rare side effect from them.
- bongoman37 5y ago
  These drugs are prescribed all over the world. Mass shootings happen in just one country.
- ciphol 5y ago
  The doctors care. They just don't have any better treatment options.
orra 5y ago
> SSRIs, which have poor efficacy Sort of. As I understand it, SSRIs have poor efficacy for mild depression, but have better efficacy against severe depression. > CBT are useful interventions that can be easily monitored by physicians with modern technology. The 'difficulty' with CBT, or indeed any other therapy, is it's expensive. And our health care system (at least in the UK) is quite underfunded.
serene_venture 5y ago
The stereotype is that younger people aren’t having sex. Maybe we will look back and realize we medicated away a generation of relationship building.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
jagger27 5y ago
This is one of the most selfish, unsympathetic, and dismissive comments I have read on this website. You really don’t have a clue why people reach for these drugs.
notmymainlogin 5y ago
I really appreciate your comment, and value honestly, but this: > Recently met an older (early 30s guy) and it was seriously cool having a sexual experience that didn’t end with “don’t bother I’m just not going to finish no matter how long we go.” Reading that was like reading that your worst nightmare is actually true. nervous laugh As a guy in their 30s, on multiple occasions I've comforted myself with "self, it doesn't matter to them if we finish, they're probably so appreciative that we're more focused on them than ourselves. you're doing great, self." And your comment is just NOPE and slashes my self esteem to shreds! And this too!: > by e.g. not smoking so much weed... CUTS DOWN MY MENTAL SUPPORT FRAMEWORK LIKE A SCYTHE. :) <3 I needed that solid slap across the face, I was in danger of becoming too comfortable with my sexuality, now I have the ammo to fuel my insecurity and shame, and push it back down where it belongs. A million thanks.
- teaearlgraycold 5y ago
  There do exist people out there that are selfish sexual partners and mis-value sex. It is possible you'll run into someone like this in the real world. But these people are at fault, not you. And I think if you look for sexual partners that display obvious compassion in all aspects of what they do you'll be safe from this kind of behavior.
anon-guy 5y ago
SSRI withdrawals/side effects are the least worst out of medications like Xanax, beta blockers and other anxiety medicine. So… there are drugs with more devastating effects. This problem isn’t just related to mental disorders. I think you are also undermining how difficult changing human behavior is, especially in relation to mental disorders and addictions. Ideally, SSRI’s are used to make behavioral changes easier.

by n8cpdx 5y ago

FFRefresh 5y ago

I do wonder if there's a culture-wide bug/meme with regards to mental health (and beyond) that makes it hard to push for lifestyle changes at scale. I think one such meme is around agency, with the underlying meme being that humans have no control over their circumstances or mental state. They have anxiety or they have depression. It's part of their identity, and these seem to be thought of as immutable diseases. And it's a social faux pas to suggest to someone with anxiety (particularly someone you are not super close with) that if they altered their behavior and consciously tried to work on their thought patterns, that they could get better. In our culture now, that gets translated as 'blaming the victim', because with a victim mindset, such a suggestion implies that it's the fault of the person. It's an unfortunate state of affairs. It feels like we are increasingly leaning into concepts such as an 'external locus of control' and 'learned helplessness' as a society. I don't know how we can push back on these ideas at scale, but if we don't, it's hard not seeing mental health issues and the externalities of the easy pharmacological solutions expand.

iammisc 5y ago
You're absolutely right. This is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think anxiety or depression are mental illness. They are just feelings. Your feelings do not make you ill... People attribute it to a 'chemical' imbalance, but your brain being run by chemical fluctuations, everything is a 'chemical' balance, including this comment I'm typing right now. What we've done is taken these brain fluctuations, and labeled them bad, without addressing why one's brain is thinking this. I am an anxious person. I have had several terrible things happen to me that have led to prolonged periods of depression. Ultimately, these things are a choice, and people need to be taught good skills for coping with the sad realities of life. Life is ultimately a long series of sufferings, ending in death, which one can either choose to embrace or to worry about. Unfortunately, as a society we have stopped teaching all the traditional tools one would use to get oneself out of such funks.
- vettedvat 5y ago
  You're describing situational depression. Very different than major depressive disorder or dysthymia for which these drugs are often prescribed. Common mistake.
  - iammisc 5y ago
    'Major depressive disorder' is just situational depression applied to every situation. Common mistake. Many psychiatrists and psychologists make the same mistake. Many psychiatrists, by virtue of their education, are part of a class of people who are themselves more prone to depression and anxiety, so we probably shouldn't be looking to them for great advice.
    - vettedvat 5y ago
      Wrong again, a psychologist would not make that mistake. They know what those words mean; you just googled them. Luckily you didn't even try explain away dysthymia from your armchair because, well, you have nothing to stand on. > Many psychiatrists, by virtue of their education, are part of a class of people who are themselves more prone to depression and anxiety Yikes, now we're just on to blind speculation.

LorenPechtel 5y ago

The doctors don't seem to care about the side effects. All the psych drugs have horrendous side effects which get basically ignored. I've even seen multiple suggestions that mass shootings might be a rare side effect from them.

bongoman37 5y ago
These drugs are prescribed all over the world. Mass shootings happen in just one country.
ciphol 5y ago
The doctors care. They just don't have any better treatment options.

orra 5y ago

> SSRIs, which have poor efficacy Sort of. As I understand it, SSRIs have poor efficacy for mild depression, but have better efficacy against severe depression. > CBT are useful interventions that can be easily monitored by physicians with modern technology. The 'difficulty' with CBT, or indeed any other therapy, is it's expensive. And our health care system (at least in the UK) is quite underfunded.

serene_venture 5y ago

The stereotype is that younger people aren’t having sex. Maybe we will look back and realize we medicated away a generation of relationship building.

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

jagger27 5y ago

This is one of the most selfish, unsympathetic, and dismissive comments I have read on this website. You really don’t have a clue why people reach for these drugs.

notmymainlogin 5y ago

I really appreciate your comment, and value honestly, but this: > Recently met an older (early 30s guy) and it was seriously cool having a sexual experience that didn’t end with “don’t bother I’m just not going to finish no matter how long we go.” Reading that was like reading that your worst nightmare is actually true. nervous laugh As a guy in their 30s, on multiple occasions I've comforted myself with "self, it doesn't matter to them if we finish, they're probably so appreciative that we're more focused on them than ourselves. you're doing great, self." And your comment is just NOPE and slashes my self esteem to shreds! And this too!: > by e.g. not smoking so much weed... CUTS DOWN MY MENTAL SUPPORT FRAMEWORK LIKE A SCYTHE. :) <3 I needed that solid slap across the face, I was in danger of becoming too comfortable with my sexuality, now I have the ammo to fuel my insecurity and shame, and push it back down where it belongs. A million thanks.

teaearlgraycold 5y ago
There do exist people out there that are selfish sexual partners and mis-value sex. It is possible you'll run into someone like this in the real world. But these people are at fault, not you. And I think if you look for sexual partners that display obvious compassion in all aspects of what they do you'll be safe from this kind of behavior.

anon-guy 5y ago

SSRI withdrawals/side effects are the least worst out of medications like Xanax, beta blockers and other anxiety medicine. So… there are drugs with more devastating effects. This problem isn’t just related to mental disorders. I think you are also undermining how difficult changing human behavior is, especially in relation to mental disorders and addictions. Ideally, SSRI’s are used to make behavioral changes easier.