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Every time I've switched jobs I looked back and questioned the time and effort I put in. It seems like I never got back what I put in. When it comes to my son

by arpyzo 5y ago

Every time I've switched jobs I looked back and questioned the time and effort I put in. It seems like I never got back what I put in. When it comes to my son though, I've never once regretted the time and effort I dedicated to him. Sounds like the real loser is Joe Lonsdale. I hope he'll come to understand what's truly import during the short time on this planet before it's too late.

strikelaserclaw 5y ago
i mean, all the effort you put in and the owner puts in goes to making the owner richer, so yea it makes sense for the owner to say that but it doesn't make sense for workers to believe it.
llampx 5y ago
I don't know if Jon is a father but I would absolutely not be surprised if, when he becomes one, he does take a healthy paternity leave. Many of these people are very "do as I say, not as i do" types.
- kelseyfrog 5y ago
  Joe has every incentive to convince other people to minimize paternity leave. Morality is for the working class.
  - llampx 5y ago
    This is sad but true.
- spamizbad 5y ago
  If you've got Jon's money you can just buy help for your family. So from the perspective of a rich guy who can afford a live-in nanny, I'm not surprised he thinks 6 months of paternity leave is extravagant. But for normal people, you're lucky if you have some family to help out a day or two in the first few weeks. In the case of my wife and I for our son, we were flying solo. And that's assuming a normal birth - if your new baby has to spend time in the NICU... that's extra nerve wracking and emotionally taxing even though technically there are trained staff "taking care" of your baby.
  - AnimalMuppet 5y ago
    You can buy a nanny for your kid. You can't buy a dad.
    - spamizbad 5y ago
      True, although in my experience the first 6 months of being a dad is less about being a male role model and more focused on supporting mom and making sure the baby is healthy, safe and comfortable.
      - nostrademons 5y ago
        It's laying the groundwork, though. You can't be a good role model unless your kid trusts you, and that trust starts being built at birth.
        threatofrain 5y ago
        If the father isn't there for the first 6 months of child rearing, but the mother, friends, family, and hired nannies are, is it clear that a child will face lifelong repercussions?
        nostrademons 5y ago
        These aren't all-or-nothing effects. Kids are resilient and adaptable, and it's never too late to start building a relationship. But it is a relationship. If dad hasn't been there in the past, kid's got no reason to go to him for comfort or guidance in the future. That starts at birth, with holding & skin-to-skin contact, and continues through daily caregiving.
  - vagrantJin 5y ago
    > from the perspective of a rich guy who can afford a live-in nanny I'm not arguing for or against Jon but your statement is quite indicative of large social issue. Family. Not long ago after childbirth, aunts, sisters and grandparents would be around to help the young couple take care of the baby - and their sanity - while keeping things moving. Alas, we've reduced family to an expense line item. All in the name of progress. Whatever that means. So maybe I will stand with Jons of the world, albeit from a different perspective.
- quitit 5y ago
  They’re scared of the imperceivably small dent this would make in their profit. Asking this guy’s opinion on the matter is like asking the fox about security for the hen’s house.
- nostrademons 5y ago
  Article says that he's a father of 3 but is committed to defending traditional gender roles.
- ThrowawayR2 5y ago
  > "I don't know if Jon is a father..." The article mentions that he is the father of three. It's also worth noting that the article title omits part of the tweet; the actual text says "...any man in an important position...", so he's not talking about ordinary workers. (On a meta level, it's actually kind of regrettable that there's a HN guideline against encouraging posters to read the article before commenting since it's clear that so many don't.)
mycentstoo 5y ago
This rings very true for me as well. Family time never feels wasted but staying up all those extra hours to ship better code never seems to be worth it in the end.
mam4 5y ago
Well he probably thinks the same of "mere employees" who could do better with this time, such as founding a compagny as his
HWR_14 5y ago
In fairness, I doubt you ever switched jobs with billions in the bank. I assume as a Palintir founder, Joe has.

by arpyzo 5y ago

strikelaserclaw 5y ago

i mean, all the effort you put in and the owner puts in goes to making the owner richer, so yea it makes sense for the owner to say that but it doesn't make sense for workers to believe it.

llampx 5y ago

I don't know if Jon is a father but I would absolutely not be surprised if, when he becomes one, he does take a healthy paternity leave. Many of these people are very "do as I say, not as i do" types.

kelseyfrog 5y ago
Joe has every incentive to convince other people to minimize paternity leave. Morality is for the working class.
- llampx 5y ago
  This is sad but true.
spamizbad 5y ago
If you've got Jon's money you can just buy help for your family. So from the perspective of a rich guy who can afford a live-in nanny, I'm not surprised he thinks 6 months of paternity leave is extravagant. But for normal people, you're lucky if you have some family to help out a day or two in the first few weeks. In the case of my wife and I for our son, we were flying solo. And that's assuming a normal birth - if your new baby has to spend time in the NICU... that's extra nerve wracking and emotionally taxing even though technically there are trained staff "taking care" of your baby.
- AnimalMuppet 5y ago
  You can buy a nanny for your kid. You can't buy a dad.
  - spamizbad 5y ago
    True, although in my experience the first 6 months of being a dad is less about being a male role model and more focused on supporting mom and making sure the baby is healthy, safe and comfortable.
    - nostrademons 5y ago
      It's laying the groundwork, though. You can't be a good role model unless your kid trusts you, and that trust starts being built at birth.
      - threatofrain 5y ago
        If the father isn't there for the first 6 months of child rearing, but the mother, friends, family, and hired nannies are, is it clear that a child will face lifelong repercussions?
        nostrademons 5y ago
        These aren't all-or-nothing effects. Kids are resilient and adaptable, and it's never too late to start building a relationship. But it is a relationship. If dad hasn't been there in the past, kid's got no reason to go to him for comfort or guidance in the future. That starts at birth, with holding & skin-to-skin contact, and continues through daily caregiving.
- vagrantJin 5y ago
  > from the perspective of a rich guy who can afford a live-in nanny I'm not arguing for or against Jon but your statement is quite indicative of large social issue. Family. Not long ago after childbirth, aunts, sisters and grandparents would be around to help the young couple take care of the baby - and their sanity - while keeping things moving. Alas, we've reduced family to an expense line item. All in the name of progress. Whatever that means. So maybe I will stand with Jons of the world, albeit from a different perspective.
quitit 5y ago
They’re scared of the imperceivably small dent this would make in their profit. Asking this guy’s opinion on the matter is like asking the fox about security for the hen’s house.
nostrademons 5y ago
Article says that he's a father of 3 but is committed to defending traditional gender roles.
ThrowawayR2 5y ago
> "I don't know if Jon is a father..." The article mentions that he is the father of three. It's also worth noting that the article title omits part of the tweet; the actual text says "...any man in an important position...", so he's not talking about ordinary workers. (On a meta level, it's actually kind of regrettable that there's a HN guideline against encouraging posters to read the article before commenting since it's clear that so many don't.)

mycentstoo 5y ago

This rings very true for me as well. Family time never feels wasted but staying up all those extra hours to ship better code never seems to be worth it in the end.

mam4 5y ago

Well he probably thinks the same of "mere employees" who could do better with this time, such as founding a compagny as his

HWR_14 5y ago

In fairness, I doubt you ever switched jobs with billions in the bank. I assume as a Palintir founder, Joe has.