There's a lot of inconspicuous ways to signal this. Disguise it as some nonsense. It's no different from the less serious appellations to "blink thrice if you n

There's a lot of inconspicuous ways to signal this. Disguise it as some nonsense. It's no different from the less serious appellations to "blink thrice if you need help". Some I just came up with: (a) you can disguise the action as making a fist then said fist goes on to rub your nose, for instance. (b) your chin can rest on the back of your hand in position (1). Then it occasionally switches to (2). You can keep doing this while pretending to be listening thoroughly, like it's some unconscious gesture. (c) you can do this gesture two or three times in a row disguised as a hello or goodbye wave. The important observation here is, even if your abuser recognizes what you are doing, they are unlikely to prevent you from doing this immediately. Otherwise if they do then it's just explicit confirmation that you are indeed being abused. That situation is no good for them, if they are trying to hide the fact. The second point is that you maintain plausible deniability even if your abuser recognizes the sign. Of course it's not foolproof but it's easier to sell this as casual gestures as opposed to explicitly telling the video chat of your situation. If your abuser confronts you about it (if they even catch you doing it), it's easier to defuse the situation and less likely to end up in another altercation.