3 ms·

> "social "skills" can't be learned, at least not well" Yes they can. I grew up missing a bunch of key social skills (something akin to Asperger Syndrome). A

> "social "skills" can't be learned, at least not well" Yes they can. I grew up missing a bunch of key social skills (something akin to Asperger Syndrome). After I was married, my wife taught me to make eye contact when I spoke to her. I was a teaching assistant in grad school, and later an educator with a museum, and developed several skills through that. By the time I left to pursue full-time parenting, teachers would regularly compliment me on my people skills. If somebody like me (who didn't even learn eye contact as a child) can learn decent "people skills", there's no excuse for any but the most extreme cases (and some of them even manage to make serious progress with the right training.)

fiblye 15y ago
This all involves someone that's willing to put up with you enough to teach you how to be a social person. Some people just don't like being around others, some fear others, and some are simply shunned by society and never had a chance. Few people can have a wife plop down on their lap and those that lack social skills fear getting a job that involves talking to people, and for good reason. There'll always be exceptions that go on to become president and whatever, but it's a lot of work and a lot of luck.
- lotharbot 15y ago
  It had a lot to do with my choosing to put myself in an uncomfortable position, and choosing to learn the necessary skills. It wasn't all "someone willing to teach me"; a lot of it was me being willing to figure stuff out. If you do need someone to teach you, that suggests you have a significant condition -- in which case you very likely qualify for help from a specialist. For example, if you have an Autism spectrum disorder, you can find resources in the US via http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/fsdb/search.php http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/fsdb/search.php . It's easy to make excuses, but it's better to make progress.

fiblye 15y ago

This all involves someone that's willing to put up with you enough to teach you how to be a social person. Some people just don't like being around others, some fear others, and some are simply shunned by society and never had a chance. Few people can have a wife plop down on their lap and those that lack social skills fear getting a job that involves talking to people, and for good reason. There'll always be exceptions that go on to become president and whatever, but it's a lot of work and a lot of luck.

lotharbot 15y ago
It had a lot to do with my choosing to put myself in an uncomfortable position, and choosing to learn the necessary skills. It wasn't all "someone willing to teach me"; a lot of it was me being willing to figure stuff out. If you do need someone to teach you, that suggests you have a significant condition -- in which case you very likely qualify for help from a specialist. For example, if you have an Autism spectrum disorder, you can find resources in the US via http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/fsdb/search.php http://www.autismspeaks.org/community/fsdb/search.php . It's easy to make excuses, but it's better to make progress.