9 ms·
COVID has definitely thrown a wrench in the works. So I suspect there are a lot of people in your boat, even if it feels like everyone else has a social group.
by vanilla_nut 5y ago
COVID has definitely thrown a wrench in the works. So I suspect there are a lot of people in your boat, even if it feels like everyone else has a social group. Turns out, the people who don't have a social group just aren't as visible. Your job is to find them (or latch onto a compatible social group).
What helped me in college? Clubs were great, and often have social events + club events. If you even have a passing interest in skiing/snowboarding, golfing, disc golf, radio/music, or anything else -- go to club meetings. Put yourself out there as someone who's interested but wants to learn more. The nicest people in the group will help you get started. I know it's scary to put yourself out there, but that's largely how you bond with others.
I would also try to get into TAing if I were you -- that was a great way for me to meet friends in college.
And finally, start or join a study group for any class that interests you. Even if you're not struggling, helping other students can help you solidify your knowledge and understand the gaps in your knowledge. And teaching/mentorship are great skills to foster for your future career, too. If you are struggling, study groups can be a good way to find smart people who can help you not struggle. They're often good people to surround yourself in the future, too -- highly motivated, smart, successful people can refer you to jobs, help you find internships, etc.
It also hugely helps to attend parties and other drinking events at school. You don't have to get drunk or anything, but even showing up, having a couple of drinks, and hanging out with people informally will make the connections you need to start building friendships.
Finally, just be friendly when you're out and about. Hang out outside of your room whenever you can -- at the library, at a coffee shop on campus, at the cafeteria -- and say hi to everyone you recognize and feel comfortable talking to. Ask them about their day, or their weekend plans, or how that tough project is going. See if they're doing anything tomorrow night, and if you can tag along if it sounds interesting. You'll be surprised at how open most people are to that kind of thing, and how much they'll enjoy active interest from another human being. Oh, and it helps to exploit these chats to introduce yourself to friends of those friends who they happen to be with... who you can later say hi to to build your network even further.
One last thing: don't try too hard. When you're feeling genuinely nice and you're genuinely interested, go for it. But if something doesn't actually interest you, or someone seems busy and doesn't want to talk, don't force it. That'll make you seem weird, and you don't want that. Just be open and friendly, and good things will come as you build your network.