I don't know how helpful this will be, but the strategy that has worked best for me is: attach yourself to "connectors." Connectors are extraverts who have a l

I don't know how helpful this will be, but the strategy that has worked best for me is: attach yourself to "connectors." Connectors are extraverts who have a large social circle and enjoy facilitating connections within it. If you meet them and they like you, they will start inviting you to other events, which are typically great opportunities to form friendships. Even if you don't end up being great friends with the connector, chances are high that you'll hit it off with someone else in their circle. But how do you find the connectors? Well, sometimes they come to you. During my college orientation, a fellow student just walked right up to me and introduced himself. Another time, a student just walked into my dorm room -- he was introducing himself to everyone on the floor. (This sort of thing is much more likely to happen in college.) Usually, though, you have to take some initiative. Go to places where connectors will be, like meetups and clubs. If you're lucky, a connector will spontaneously introduce themselves to you; if not, try to insert yourself into conversation groups, and then figure out who the connectors are. Essentially, these people are "scouting" for new connections. In particular, they're looking for people who are fun to talk to. So it helps to be a little weird and unique, as long as you're capable of carrying on a conversation without too much awkwardness. The nice thing about this strategy is that you don't have to act super extraverted or self-confident. Connectors know that shy people can be very rewarding to talk to, so once you pique their interest, they'll supply most of the "energy" in the conversation. You just need to hold their interest, and before long they'll ask for your number/email/whatever. After that, it's smooth sailing. When a connector invites you to something, say yes by default. (That is, always say yes unless you have a legitimate reason not to. Being scared is not a legitimate reason.) If they're a good connector, they'll invite you to events that are relevant to your interests, and they'll introduce you to people who they think you'll get along with. Then, Just Be Yourself™ and friendships will come naturally. ...Like I said, I don't know how helpful this is. In my life, I've been fortunate enough to befriend a few connectors, but maybe that's rare and I was simply lucky. And you definitely do need some baseline charisma for this to work well; it really helps if you can make people laugh. Anyway, I'm curious to hear other people's opinions on this. Maybe there are some connectors on HN who can share their perspective.