5 ms·

Enthusiasm Goes A Long Way Over Email

78 points by craigkerstiens 15y ago

Shenglong 15y ago
They also spelled my name correctly! <- So important. I remember someone sending me an email addressed to "Shenglong" <myemail@thecompany>, and then the first thing I read was: "Hi Shelog". Ugh.
hammock 15y ago
Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. (Rule No.3 from Ways to Make People Like You)
- koolaidavoider 15y ago
  The way that you're addressed can skew the tone though. For example, starting an email out with "Hi John, can you take a look at this?" sounds much more friendly than "John, can you take a look at this?"
- jarek 15y ago
  That is extremely culturally dependent (also personally dependent). I won't react any better to "Hi Jarek," than to "Hi,".
corin_ 15y ago
I think it very much depends on who you are, different people will have different reactions. Personally, although I use smileys in Skype/SMS/etc. (a lot), if anyone uses them in an email, business related in particular, I get pissed off. I don't know why that's my reaction for email from friends, but when it comes to work stuff: we're talking in a professional manner, so act professionally please. (Again, that's an instruction based on my personal feeling, I'm not suggesting everyone ought to think like that.) But yes, I do agree with being friendly - as long as it's authentic, not sickeningly fake and over-the-top, it will almost always be an improvement.
- toumhi 15y ago
  act professionally != being dull I don't see what's unprofessional in using smileys and an enthusiastic tone, to me it sounds better that way instead of sounding dull and stiff.
  - corin_ 15y ago
    Like I say, I'm not saying it is the definitive way to behave, simply that it's how I think of it - purely an emotional opinion. But I do know plenty of other people who feel the same way.
  - BrandonM 15y ago
    I agree. That's like saying one shouldn't smile at work.
    - corin_ 15y ago
      Face-to-face and email is very different in terms of behaviour - or at least it is for some people. In my office swearing is fine, we all do it, and we have plenty of clients in front of whom I would be fine swearing, and they will swear too (obviously not at each other, just in general). Swearing in an email or a letter though, totally unacceptable. Perhaps a better example of the differences is just that, if you meet with a client, even one you don't know well, you don't end with "kind regards" or "yours sincerely". The fact that you do (or at least, might well) in an email/letter doesn't really signify a difference in what you are trying to convey, purely a difference in convention. I have no problem using humour in an email or a letter, that's fine. I guess maybe the reason smileys feel inappropriate is because they are so associated with children. Sure, adults use them, but they started among young people, and they will forever (I think, but at least still today) remain more popular among younger age groups. When chatting through IM software it feels fine to throw off adulthood, when talking to friends I might sometimes open with something I'd be far too embarassed to actually say in real life, such as "waddup bitch". Email, for me, is a high-tech version of the letter, not a high-tech version of face-to-face.
      - 15y ago
donall 15y ago
I think the author is right about the use of emoticons and I think they're an underused and misunderstood form of communication. I similarly used to avoid them, but I also used to get into a lot of misunderstandings in long e-mail exchanges. People would misinterpret my concise and direct messages as being brusque, impatient, etc. In my experience, throwing in an occasional light-hearted remark accompanied by a smiley face actually makes a huge difference. Obviously it's not always appropriate and, like many textspeak artifacts, they're open to abuse, LOL :). But, in general, I think emoticons put a human slant on what is an otherwise very impersonal communication medium. I would equate their use with the use of small-talk in face-to-face conversations - it doesn't contribute anything meaningful to the discussion, but it often puts people at ease.
matdwyer 15y ago
I'm emailing customers back and forth a lot, and I like to "humanize" the company a bit. We're based in Toronto, and if we have someone based in Montreal, Ottawa, or Vancouver that emails during the winter I'll usually throw in a jab about hockey. Something like "You should see it show up in the mail before the next time the Senators win" - 90% of people are at least aware of hockey around here, and appreciate a little rivalry. Most respond back with a friendly jab at the Toronto Maple Leafs, etc. Doesn't work for everyone, but I've never had anyone say anything bad about it - in fact it usually gives us something to joke about when/if we talk in person.
cop359 15y ago
If I initiate contact I always keep my first email extremely formal and polite. You never really know how the other person interprets emails (they could be a total snob for all you know) so it's better to play it safe. If they respond in a more "casual" way, then I write back in a tone that matches theirs. If I am writing to apologize about something, I try to write it in a more personable manner so that I can connect with them on a personal level. This generally diffuses any tension and makes people more sympathetic (at the cost of making you look less professional.. but something that's just worth it)
pingswept 15y ago
When I use emoticons, I feel like a bad writer. I feel like my jokes were too subtle or just not funny, so I have to make up for my deficiency by inserting a symbol that says "I MADE A JOKE HERE, BUT NOT WELL ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT IT." It's the same as in a face-to-face interaction where someone laughs at their own joke in hopes of inspiring you to laugh-- generally, not a good strategy. Still, I understand the utility of the emoticon in the customer-service situation, where you have no shared experience to base jokes on.
- pseudonym 15y ago
  The problem is that it's not always the quality of the joke. A lot of face-to-face interaction, beyond the words spoken, is the tonal inflections, gestures, facial expressions, and such that cannot be expressed in a purely text-based medium. Just pick up any book where two characters have a conversation and look at how much of the text is what they're saying, and how much is the narrator talking about what they're doing while saying it, or adjectives about the tone of voice they're speaking in. ...he said, emphatically.
  - pingswept 15y ago
    Yeah, that's what makes writing well so goddam hard. The best writers can do a great job of communicating without resorting to graphical representations of the intent of the text. I just wish I were better at it.
    - SoftwareMaven 15y ago
      But the best writers aren't throwing out 60 short stories before lunch. They also have an audience who will actually read all the words. When communicating via email, brevity us crucial. If I can drop two sentences by inserting a ;), you better believe I will. To not do so would be disrespecting the recipient's time so I can hone my writing skills (or lack thereof, in my case) at her expense.
      - pingswept 15y ago

They also spelled my name correctly! <- So important. I remember someone sending me an email addressed to "Shenglong" <myemail@thecompany>, and then the first thing I read was: "Hi Shelog". Ugh.

hammock 15y ago

Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. (Rule No.3 from Ways to Make People Like You)

koolaidavoider 15y ago
The way that you're addressed can skew the tone though. For example, starting an email out with "Hi John, can you take a look at this?" sounds much more friendly than "John, can you take a look at this?"
jarek 15y ago
That is extremely culturally dependent (also personally dependent). I won't react any better to "Hi Jarek," than to "Hi,".

corin_ 15y ago

I think it very much depends on who you are, different people will have different reactions. Personally, although I use smileys in Skype/SMS/etc. (a lot), if anyone uses them in an email, business related in particular, I get pissed off. I don't know why that's my reaction for email from friends, but when it comes to work stuff: we're talking in a professional manner, so act professionally please. (Again, that's an instruction based on my personal feeling, I'm not suggesting everyone ought to think like that.) But yes, I do agree with being friendly - as long as it's authentic, not sickeningly fake and over-the-top, it will almost always be an improvement.

toumhi 15y ago
act professionally != being dull I don't see what's unprofessional in using smileys and an enthusiastic tone, to me it sounds better that way instead of sounding dull and stiff.
- corin_ 15y ago
  Like I say, I'm not saying it is the definitive way to behave, simply that it's how I think of it - purely an emotional opinion. But I do know plenty of other people who feel the same way.
- BrandonM 15y ago
  I agree. That's like saying one shouldn't smile at work.
  - corin_ 15y ago
    Face-to-face and email is very different in terms of behaviour - or at least it is for some people. In my office swearing is fine, we all do it, and we have plenty of clients in front of whom I would be fine swearing, and they will swear too (obviously not at each other, just in general). Swearing in an email or a letter though, totally unacceptable. Perhaps a better example of the differences is just that, if you meet with a client, even one you don't know well, you don't end with "kind regards" or "yours sincerely". The fact that you do (or at least, might well) in an email/letter doesn't really signify a difference in what you are trying to convey, purely a difference in convention. I have no problem using humour in an email or a letter, that's fine. I guess maybe the reason smileys feel inappropriate is because they are so associated with children. Sure, adults use them, but they started among young people, and they will forever (I think, but at least still today) remain more popular among younger age groups. When chatting through IM software it feels fine to throw off adulthood, when talking to friends I might sometimes open with something I'd be far too embarassed to actually say in real life, such as "waddup bitch". Email, for me, is a high-tech version of the letter, not a high-tech version of face-to-face.
    - 15y ago

donall 15y ago

I think the author is right about the use of emoticons and I think they're an underused and misunderstood form of communication. I similarly used to avoid them, but I also used to get into a lot of misunderstandings in long e-mail exchanges. People would misinterpret my concise and direct messages as being brusque, impatient, etc. In my experience, throwing in an occasional light-hearted remark accompanied by a smiley face actually makes a huge difference. Obviously it's not always appropriate and, like many textspeak artifacts, they're open to abuse, LOL :). But, in general, I think emoticons put a human slant on what is an otherwise very impersonal communication medium. I would equate their use with the use of small-talk in face-to-face conversations - it doesn't contribute anything meaningful to the discussion, but it often puts people at ease.

matdwyer 15y ago

I'm emailing customers back and forth a lot, and I like to "humanize" the company a bit. We're based in Toronto, and if we have someone based in Montreal, Ottawa, or Vancouver that emails during the winter I'll usually throw in a jab about hockey. Something like "You should see it show up in the mail before the next time the Senators win" - 90% of people are at least aware of hockey around here, and appreciate a little rivalry. Most respond back with a friendly jab at the Toronto Maple Leafs, etc. Doesn't work for everyone, but I've never had anyone say anything bad about it - in fact it usually gives us something to joke about when/if we talk in person.

cop359 15y ago

If I initiate contact I always keep my first email extremely formal and polite. You never really know how the other person interprets emails (they could be a total snob for all you know) so it's better to play it safe. If they respond in a more "casual" way, then I write back in a tone that matches theirs. If I am writing to apologize about something, I try to write it in a more personable manner so that I can connect with them on a personal level. This generally diffuses any tension and makes people more sympathetic (at the cost of making you look less professional.. but something that's just worth it)

pingswept 15y ago

When I use emoticons, I feel like a bad writer. I feel like my jokes were too subtle or just not funny, so I have to make up for my deficiency by inserting a symbol that says "I MADE A JOKE HERE, BUT NOT WELL ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT IT." It's the same as in a face-to-face interaction where someone laughs at their own joke in hopes of inspiring you to laugh-- generally, not a good strategy. Still, I understand the utility of the emoticon in the customer-service situation, where you have no shared experience to base jokes on.

pseudonym 15y ago
The problem is that it's not always the quality of the joke. A lot of face-to-face interaction, beyond the words spoken, is the tonal inflections, gestures, facial expressions, and such that cannot be expressed in a purely text-based medium. Just pick up any book where two characters have a conversation and look at how much of the text is what they're saying, and how much is the narrator talking about what they're doing while saying it, or adjectives about the tone of voice they're speaking in. ...he said, emphatically.
- pingswept 15y ago
  Yeah, that's what makes writing well so goddam hard. The best writers can do a great job of communicating without resorting to graphical representations of the intent of the text. I just wish I were better at it.
  - SoftwareMaven 15y ago
    But the best writers aren't throwing out 60 short stories before lunch. They also have an audience who will actually read all the words. When communicating via email, brevity us crucial. If I can drop two sentences by inserting a ;), you better believe I will. To not do so would be disrespecting the recipient's time so I can hone my writing skills (or lack thereof, in my case) at her expense.
    - pingswept 15y ago