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I will say. Over the last year I have more and more just pulled back. I have regularly wiped my Reddit account, come back for a bit, notes the toxicity and bla

I will say. Over the last year I have more and more just pulled back. I have regularly wiped my Reddit account, come back for a bit, notes the toxicity and blatant bias and wiped it again. Within my circle of friends I no longer really discuss current events or politics. Once a pastime of challenging our beliefs and opinions has kinda just….stopped. And most are pretty moderate and more just burned out from the toxicity of others that we prefer not to engage it even in a relatively “safe” quarters because well, even some of our peers that traditionally have been level headed are less so and you never know who you will offend now. For the most part I really only pull information now from RSS feeds. I no longer even seek out discussion. I just try and get a high level overview and call it good. There’s a part of me that wants to discuss these things. But yeah, many are just over the top. I was discussing daycares with some colleagues at work over the “water cooler” and where we sent our kids. I mentioned the one we used because someone asked how it was. I gave them a rundown of my experience and someone else said the owners were “deplorable” and “advertised on xyz radio” and they were probably brain washing my….get it…3 year old. I told them I’m not huge on applying politics where it’s irrelevant if it’s not affecting the product. And that was it, everything went cold, and I ended up getting asked by my boss what I said. My kids are not even aware there are other people in this world with the same name yet, and I offended someone by just mentioning a daycare center. And it’s a death by a thousand cuts, I’ll just pull back more I suppose.

mlac 5y ago
Yeah. I’d like to run for office one day, but I would need the wife fully on board and I don’t want it to impact the kid(s). I don’t post really anything on social media, but I do have this account. I believe that if I do run for office that the things I’ve written here, in the context of today, will be dug up and taken out of context then. But I need to develop my thinking somewhere, and oddly enough this site has the most civil discourse I can find. I don’t want to give up my anonymity and I don’t feel right now is the right time. Right now, candidates are pigeon holed into two extremes, so I’m ok waiting on the sidelines and learning and reading more. I think what you bring up, and the cost of running for office (e.g. it could screw up your career if you’re targeted with a smear campaign) definitely limits the pool of candidates. It’s definitely a sacrifice, especially if you lose. It turns you into a lightning rod, has the potential to ruin about half of your relationships, could wreck your career, and puts your anonymity and personal security in jeopardy. But I appreciate the opportunity that being born in this country gave me. And I feel a responsibility to do my part to provide those opportunities for the next generation and those who want to come here from around the world.
- dang 5y ago
  > the things I’ve written here, in the context of today, will be dug up and taken out of context People who are worried about this kind of thing can always email us to rename their account and/or to redact identifying information. We don't want anyone to get in trouble from anything they posted to HN. While we don't delete entire account histories (and take some heat for this), we do care about protecting users, handle these requests every day, and there's nearly always something we can do.
Theory5 5y ago
I mean, that's should be a reasonable understanding for most people. Sure, there are companies out there I don't support because I don't like what they do. But there are others with opinions I disagree with, but I still patronize them. And its important to recognize that the stores I refuse to patronize, and those I do that hold views I dislike, are probably not given the same distinctions by others, even those with ideals like mine. But the core point should be we can have a calm, rational discussion on it, and leave with the understanding that your thoughts and views are not 100% my thoughts and views, and that's ok as long as neither of us hold views promoting violence or hatred. I've never met a person in my life I 100% agreed with about everything. Not my mom, not my dad, not my sister, or my wife . Talking and finding commonality is more important and necessary than finding reasons to dislike each other.
- croutonwagon 5y ago
  Completely agree on all counts. But what I have seen change, overall, is that there is now a trend that these differences of opinion are no longer respected and now generate offense and in more severe cases attempts at retribution. I understand this is totally me generalizing and completely from my observations and not necessarily empirical evidence of anything, but i find it concerning nonetheless.
tickettohide 5y ago
+1 to all this. I raise fewer issues in work, am less willing to engage in debate with everyone, and am transitioning to treating the Internet with ephemerality (throwaway...), mostly read-only. Perhaps this is a win for those that seek to control speech.
- croutonwagon 5y ago
  >Perhaps this is a win for those that seek to control speech. I suspect this may be part of it. And it may also be maturity or changes on my end too. Im much less apt to scream into the void. Im more aware my opinions dont really mean anything to others and so I filter much more. In some cases out of politeness, in others to avoid negative reactions or less than desirable outcomes. I will say that my observations of people being notably more galvanized in their opinions, less open minded and more aggressive in attacking those they disagree with, even if its a passive aggressive attack and not one based in seeking retribution, have probably accelerated these more "isolationist tendencies" that I have seen develop within myself.

mlac 5y ago

Yeah. I’d like to run for office one day, but I would need the wife fully on board and I don’t want it to impact the kid(s). I don’t post really anything on social media, but I do have this account. I believe that if I do run for office that the things I’ve written here, in the context of today, will be dug up and taken out of context then. But I need to develop my thinking somewhere, and oddly enough this site has the most civil discourse I can find. I don’t want to give up my anonymity and I don’t feel right now is the right time. Right now, candidates are pigeon holed into two extremes, so I’m ok waiting on the sidelines and learning and reading more. I think what you bring up, and the cost of running for office (e.g. it could screw up your career if you’re targeted with a smear campaign) definitely limits the pool of candidates. It’s definitely a sacrifice, especially if you lose. It turns you into a lightning rod, has the potential to ruin about half of your relationships, could wreck your career, and puts your anonymity and personal security in jeopardy. But I appreciate the opportunity that being born in this country gave me. And I feel a responsibility to do my part to provide those opportunities for the next generation and those who want to come here from around the world.

dang 5y ago
> the things I’ve written here, in the context of today, will be dug up and taken out of context People who are worried about this kind of thing can always email us to rename their account and/or to redact identifying information. We don't want anyone to get in trouble from anything they posted to HN. While we don't delete entire account histories (and take some heat for this), we do care about protecting users, handle these requests every day, and there's nearly always something we can do.

Theory5 5y ago

I mean, that's should be a reasonable understanding for most people. Sure, there are companies out there I don't support because I don't like what they do. But there are others with opinions I disagree with, but I still patronize them. And its important to recognize that the stores I refuse to patronize, and those I do that hold views I dislike, are probably not given the same distinctions by others, even those with ideals like mine. But the core point should be we can have a calm, rational discussion on it, and leave with the understanding that your thoughts and views are not 100% my thoughts and views, and that's ok as long as neither of us hold views promoting violence or hatred. I've never met a person in my life I 100% agreed with about everything. Not my mom, not my dad, not my sister, or my wife . Talking and finding commonality is more important and necessary than finding reasons to dislike each other.

croutonwagon 5y ago
Completely agree on all counts. But what I have seen change, overall, is that there is now a trend that these differences of opinion are no longer respected and now generate offense and in more severe cases attempts at retribution. I understand this is totally me generalizing and completely from my observations and not necessarily empirical evidence of anything, but i find it concerning nonetheless.

tickettohide 5y ago

+1 to all this. I raise fewer issues in work, am less willing to engage in debate with everyone, and am transitioning to treating the Internet with ephemerality (throwaway...), mostly read-only. Perhaps this is a win for those that seek to control speech.

croutonwagon 5y ago
>Perhaps this is a win for those that seek to control speech. I suspect this may be part of it. And it may also be maturity or changes on my end too. Im much less apt to scream into the void. Im more aware my opinions dont really mean anything to others and so I filter much more. In some cases out of politeness, in others to avoid negative reactions or less than desirable outcomes. I will say that my observations of people being notably more galvanized in their opinions, less open minded and more aggressive in attacking those they disagree with, even if its a passive aggressive attack and not one based in seeking retribution, have probably accelerated these more "isolationist tendencies" that I have seen develop within myself.