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So much this... I'm one of eleven kids- I was the 'smart one' and what an absolute drag that title was and is. The title still sticks despite having a brother

by mrkstu 5y ago

So much this... I'm one of eleven kids- I was the 'smart one' and what an absolute drag that title was and is. The title still sticks despite having a brother with multiple award winning plays, another brother being a successful serial entrepreneur, and sisters with published books. I've watched them succeed while I didn't finish college due to ADHD driving me to distraction. Luckily I have the computer skills requisite to be a successful network architect- but I'm quite aware I could have been a surgeon, a constitutional lawyer, a good to great political commentator or a quant if I had that next bit of mental concentration and memory. I'm very aware of that gap and it grinds in the gears pretty continually now that I'm older and firmly entrenched in a career- what a bit of ADHD meds at the right time in my life would have meant to allow that potential to be unlocked. To see those I was on the debate team with or in the same book clubs or Latin class being able to step up to the next level and build fairly continually rather than fighting against their mental shortcomings. But really, in the end, I still have that bit more access to curiosity and the deeper things that come with that curiosity- I was commenting to my daughters in the car the other day that the acceleration they felt in the car pushing them back in their seats was functionally equivalent to gravity. That they are constantly accelerating towards the earth, which is what keeps them connected to the ground. That kind of thinking, though in many ways generic and obvious, is probably not a thing any of my siblings would say and an important part of how I think and approach the world- and not something I would trade to step down into for a bit more oblivious contentment.

handrous 5y ago
> I've watched them succeed while I didn't finish college due to ADHD driving me to distraction. Luckily I have the computer skills requisite to be a successful network architect- but I'm quite aware I could have been a surgeon, a constitutional lawyer, a good to great political commentator or a quant if I had that next bit of mental concentration and memory. Welcome to the party, pal :-) I still think it's a hell of a lot better than being not smart and saddled with those problems, as guilty as I sometimes feel for not "living up to my potential". I'd probably be homeless or barely making ends meet while bouncing between minimum wage jobs, instead of living really well with shockingly little effort. My deficiencies are very frustrating and trigger lots of negative rumination when I think about what might have been if I'd had just the right person take notice early on and intervene in just the right ways—until I remind myself how much worse it could be, which is a whole damn lot worse. > I'm one of eleven kids- I was the 'smart one' and what an absolute drag that title was and is. The title still sticks despite having a brother with multiple award winning plays, another brother being a successful serial entrepreneur, and sisters with published books. Ah, a member of Salinger's Glass family, I see. ;-)
skinkestek 5y ago
I have as many (or more) siblings as you, and adhd. I got meds somewhere not too far before my thirtieth birthday. That is now well above 10 years ago and yes, it has meant a lot. And yes, being singled out for being smart, I know that too. This is the first time I'm this specific about my background here but I thought you would like to know at least one other person here knows a little bit of what it feels like. Good luck going forward!

by mrkstu 5y ago

handrous 5y ago

> I've watched them succeed while I didn't finish college due to ADHD driving me to distraction. Luckily I have the computer skills requisite to be a successful network architect- but I'm quite aware I could have been a surgeon, a constitutional lawyer, a good to great political commentator or a quant if I had that next bit of mental concentration and memory. Welcome to the party, pal :-) I still think it's a hell of a lot better than being not smart and saddled with those problems, as guilty as I sometimes feel for not "living up to my potential". I'd probably be homeless or barely making ends meet while bouncing between minimum wage jobs, instead of living really well with shockingly little effort. My deficiencies are very frustrating and trigger lots of negative rumination when I think about what might have been if I'd had just the right person take notice early on and intervene in just the right ways—until I remind myself how much worse it could be, which is a whole damn lot worse. > I'm one of eleven kids- I was the 'smart one' and what an absolute drag that title was and is. The title still sticks despite having a brother with multiple award winning plays, another brother being a successful serial entrepreneur, and sisters with published books. Ah, a member of Salinger's Glass family, I see. ;-)

skinkestek 5y ago

I have as many (or more) siblings as you, and adhd. I got meds somewhere not too far before my thirtieth birthday. That is now well above 10 years ago and yes, it has meant a lot. And yes, being singled out for being smart, I know that too. This is the first time I'm this specific about my background here but I thought you would like to know at least one other person here knows a little bit of what it feels like. Good luck going forward!