5 ms·

I'm a little spectrumy so I often forget how important emotional support/bedside manner is to many people. I see my doctor as an automaton who I feed problems

I'm a little spectrumy so I often forget how important emotional support/bedside manner is to many people. I see my doctor as an automaton who I feed problems to and he feeds me solutions. Even something like a broken bone falls under the category of "normal" health issue. It happens all the time. You will be fine with a perfectly mediocre doctor dealing with your broken bone.

alistairSH 5y ago
My wife broke her hand a few years ago, it required surgery to repair. It was not a "normal" issue. I suppose it could be considered normal for a hand specialist, but when thumb mobility could be permanently compromised, you really don't want to pick the wrong surgeon. As for bedside manner, I'm mostly with you - it's largely irrelevant. For me, it's more of a minimum acceptable level - as long as they're above it, all is good.
- Consultant32452 5y ago
  I don't understand this behavior. Did you think you added something valuable to the conversation by replying with a special case?
  - alistairSH 5y ago
    You claimed we'd be fine with a mediocre doctor, I was providing a counterpoint - the risk of a botched repair was permanent loss of hand function - why risk that with a mediocre doctor?
    - Consultant32452 5y ago
      Expecting every person to couch every statement with the exceptions is bad social behavior. Most fractures are set in the ER or even urgent care, maybe a cast, you are fine. Your "gotcha" response of a relatively rare case of a hand fracture requiring surgery with a specialist is not a meaningful response.
      - deleted 5y ago
        [deleted]
    - OrvalWintermute 5y ago
      > the risk of a botched repair was permanent loss of hand function - why risk that with a mediocre doctor? You make an excellent point, and I will point out a related anecdote. A plastic surgeon in my wife's practice fell into a glass table severing a number of nerves and tendons in his dominant wrist & arm. Basically a potential career ending injury. Short of an amputation that is one of the worst injuries for a surgeon. He did not go to any regular hand surgeon, or plastic surgeon that may have done a fellowship in hand. Nope. He got driven to Hopkins where they have one of the best teams in the Mid-Atlantic for complex, nerve involved hand & arm related injuries. A year or so later and he is completely recovered. Some of the other leading honor roll hospitals [1] like Mass General, Cleveland Clinic, Mayo, etc - they have leaders in their field, and collections of gurus needed for really complex injuries where best outcomes are critical. Regular surgeons refer the super hard cases to them, because they are often times the best care possible in the US. [1] https://health.usnews.com/health-care/best-hospitals/articles/best-hospitals-honor-roll-and-overview https://health.usnews.com/health-care/best-hospitals/article...
      - Consultant32452 5y ago
        Do you believe that a normal literate person who reads: >a mediocre doctor can deal with a broken bone interprets that as >there are zero cases of broken bones that are extremely complex requiring highly specialized doctors I'm really curious to know if you believe that is how humans communicate.
tharkun__ 5y ago
What I've found is that unfortunately there are many GPs that are bad troubleshooters. They know their standard sinus infection or gastro etc. that 90% of patients come to them with but anything that requires actually problem solving is beyond them. You gotta do that yourself. The best GP I have had admitted when she didn't know but knew how to search and searched together with me or gave pointers for further experimentation and troubleshooting. He wait times suck because she does this. I love it. Re: manners. This can be so different. I had an Indian colleague complain to me once about a really bad doctor. The doctor apparently told her mother that she had cancer. I was dumbfounded why that would be bad (she did actually have cancer). Apparently the doctor was supposed to tell a family member about it but not the mother. I very clearly told her that if a doctor did tell a family member but not me I would be really really mad. Never mind doctor patient confidentiality rules. She didn't seem to understand.

alistairSH 5y ago

My wife broke her hand a few years ago, it required surgery to repair. It was not a "normal" issue. I suppose it could be considered normal for a hand specialist, but when thumb mobility could be permanently compromised, you really don't want to pick the wrong surgeon. As for bedside manner, I'm mostly with you - it's largely irrelevant. For me, it's more of a minimum acceptable level - as long as they're above it, all is good.

Consultant32452 5y ago
I don't understand this behavior. Did you think you added something valuable to the conversation by replying with a special case?
- alistairSH 5y ago
  You claimed we'd be fine with a mediocre doctor, I was providing a counterpoint - the risk of a botched repair was permanent loss of hand function - why risk that with a mediocre doctor?
  - Consultant32452 5y ago
    Expecting every person to couch every statement with the exceptions is bad social behavior. Most fractures are set in the ER or even urgent care, maybe a cast, you are fine. Your "gotcha" response of a relatively rare case of a hand fracture requiring surgery with a specialist is not a meaningful response.
    - deleted 5y ago
      [deleted]
  - OrvalWintermute 5y ago
    > the risk of a botched repair was permanent loss of hand function - why risk that with a mediocre doctor? You make an excellent point, and I will point out a related anecdote. A plastic surgeon in my wife's practice fell into a glass table severing a number of nerves and tendons in his dominant wrist & arm. Basically a potential career ending injury. Short of an amputation that is one of the worst injuries for a surgeon. He did not go to any regular hand surgeon, or plastic surgeon that may have done a fellowship in hand. Nope. He got driven to Hopkins where they have one of the best teams in the Mid-Atlantic for complex, nerve involved hand & arm related injuries. A year or so later and he is completely recovered. Some of the other leading honor roll hospitals [1] like Mass General, Cleveland Clinic, Mayo, etc - they have leaders in their field, and collections of gurus needed for really complex injuries where best outcomes are critical. Regular surgeons refer the super hard cases to them, because they are often times the best care possible in the US. [1] https://health.usnews.com/health-care/best-hospitals/articles/best-hospitals-honor-roll-and-overview https://health.usnews.com/health-care/best-hospitals/article...
    - Consultant32452 5y ago
      Do you believe that a normal literate person who reads: >a mediocre doctor can deal with a broken bone interprets that as >there are zero cases of broken bones that are extremely complex requiring highly specialized doctors I'm really curious to know if you believe that is how humans communicate.

tharkun__ 5y ago

What I've found is that unfortunately there are many GPs that are bad troubleshooters. They know their standard sinus infection or gastro etc. that 90% of patients come to them with but anything that requires actually problem solving is beyond them. You gotta do that yourself. The best GP I have had admitted when she didn't know but knew how to search and searched together with me or gave pointers for further experimentation and troubleshooting. He wait times suck because she does this. I love it. Re: manners. This can be so different. I had an Indian colleague complain to me once about a really bad doctor. The doctor apparently told her mother that she had cancer. I was dumbfounded why that would be bad (she did actually have cancer). Apparently the doctor was supposed to tell a family member about it but not the mother. I very clearly told her that if a doctor did tell a family member but not me I would be really really mad. Never mind doctor patient confidentiality rules. She didn't seem to understand.