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Totally. There's distance between: "people think I'm stupid because I'm not scared to show that I don't know about something" and some of the examples which

Totally. There's distance between: "people think I'm stupid because I'm not scared to show that I don't know about something" and some of the examples which are more along the lines of "people think I'm stupid because I act as a self-entitled genius who provides little context or reasoning behind choices and expect everyone to line up behind with no question" What is the Apple store employee supposed to do to not make someone feel stupid when they ask for the smallest box? What are the chances they're not a clueless customer in need of help and have solid reasons behind? The boss raises an eyebrow when someome proposes to skip half of the test suite? Means a lack of trust. The insurance dealer does his job and tries to get a higher premium? Not surprised. There's quite a bit of narcissism here: "They though I'm stupid but I'm not", " I was right in the end". It's actually arguing how everyone else is dumber in the end. A more sincere approach would have been to explain how he realized how stupid he actually was and how not being defensive about it helped. But perhaps the author knows better after all.

ghufran_syed 5y ago
“What is the Apple store employee supposed to do to not make someone feel stupid when they ask for the smallest box?” Maybe ask the customer, “can I ask why you would like the one with the smallest box?” instead of making assumptions? Although note that this might also be classified as a question where the person asking is admitting they don’t understand why someone would want this aka “looking dumb” in the wording from the article
- stavros 5y ago
  I don't understand why he was asking for the smallest box, though? Isn't that an inefficient proxy? Wouldn't asking to see the computers have been more accurate?
  - mbauman 5y ago
    I am really curious what his end goal here was. Apple's boxes are all very small — in what situation would a few centimeters in box size outweigh all other considerations?
    - ape4 5y ago
      The reason is obscure if nothing else.
    - mywittyname 5y ago
      I assume it has to do with sneaking the machine in and out of a place. The other alternative is something to do with storage. Maybe it's a backup machine they want hidden somewhere in case the feds seize all his electronics. That last one makes the most sense, and explains why he didn't divulge it. That way, when the author is raided, they aren't going to ask, "hey, where's that computer that, comes in the smallest box?" I'm imagining the author has this big book case, and one of the books is hallowed out and has an Apple machine in it. Maybe it's built into a false floor of a cabinet.
      - MauranKilom 5y ago
        But as the employee pointed out, smaller box does not mean smaller machine. And I don't see the point of hiding the machine with the box still around it.
    - prosaic-hacker 5y ago
      Not the OP. In my case the client want many all-in-ones.I proposed a small CPU to fit into the notches on the back of a Specific monitor. I used an Intel Compute stick which only needs power, an HDMI cable and a powered USB hub. This gave me an All in One Computer functionally for less than half the price. It also had the benefit of being up-gradable by swapping out the Compute stick for a newer model. When the client saw it he thought it was an all in one and thankfully appreciated the cleverness. (Financially, I got the contract)
  - skygazer 5y ago
    I once give a laptop as a birthday present on a weekend trip with my girlfriend, traveling in a small two-seat convertible. I struggled somewhat to figure out how to pack presents without it being obvious I was bringing presents. Fortunately the laptop box was small enough to fit behind the seat. I don’t why the author needed a small box, but I did think of my experience when I read his anecdote. I think a large part of his appearing impaired is not even attempting to explain his rationales, suspicions or methods in the moment. His goal seems to be to engineer these awkward interactions, when they could be otherwise lubricated or alleviated. He’s acting as though other people and their understanding are irrelevant to him; they are furniture or fixtures that should trust and obey unquestioningly, which is a bit ironic.
  - babelfish 5y ago
    The author's refusal to explain to the store employee why he wants the smallest box makes me think he actually is stupid, or at least lacks the emotional intelligence to understand that when someone is trying to help you, you should explain your intentions to them. If I worked at the Apple store, and somebody insisted they want the laptop in the 'smallest box' without explaining why, the only reasonable conclusion is that they're experiencing the XY problem. Not to mention that Macbooks of the same form factor all come in boxes of the same size, so there's a million other configuration options he'd need to provide... https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/66377/what-is-the-xy-problem https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/66377/what-is-the-x...
    - nzealand 5y ago
      I think that is the funniest part of this article. I read his post to the end looking for the answer to why he wanted the smallest box, furiously thinking of why. I could only think of three reasons that I rejected as unlikely. Frustrated, I came here to look at the comments. So many comments about the box. It's like the contents of the briefcase on Pulp Fiction. It's like a McGuffin that forces everyone to talk about his article.
jaclaz 5y ago
I had exactly the same impressions as you, and initially I thought that it was my non-native English interpretation (I felt sort of stupid), happy to know I am not the only one considering those examples (more-than-a-little) self-entitling the author as the ultimate genius on earth. It seems to me like he puts some intentionality in attempting to look stupid and a sort of satisfaction when this happens.
soneca 5y ago
Yes, he clearly states he thought that the student group that thought he was stupid were stupid. And later that the only people that would think his test thing was stupid would be the incompetent ones. So his thesis is also that stupid people assume that intelligent people are stupid. He considers himself more intelligent than those people. I wonder if he would be as willing to look stupid in front of people that he considers as intelligent as him. It sounded to me like he was saying: I am willing to look stupid to people that I consider inferior (dumber than me).
- pksebben 5y ago
  I read this more as: "stupid is an important step in the process of fostering smart". It's someone's unwillingness to look dumb that stalls them at the gate. I think this is the impetus behind the whole 'crawl, walk, run' thing. If you're always hot to trot and pushing an image of "I know everything already and I don't need to ask basic questions", you're never going to build the foundations of understanding necessary to construct more complex understandings.
Zababa 5y ago
On the other hand, he doesn't spend much time talking about the case that could have him die or the one that could have him go blind. If something like that happened to me, I would probably have a position like the author. There are also a few cases (COVID, air filtration) where people disagreeing with him had relatively serious health consequences.
- chefandy 5y ago
  While this guy is clearly smart, and willingness to ask simple questions is a worthy quality that many people possess, this is an article about what happens when decent intelligence and a good instinct is accompanied by narcissism and delusions of grandeur. Being right about something feels even better if other people thought you were wrong about it. With his COVID action— people disagreeing with him, at first, wasn't what had serious health consequences. He said he started wearing N95s several days before the initial r0 estimate was even published, and that he based his opinion on SARS-CoV-1 data which many relevant experts didn't think was applicable. There's a reason they didn't jump to the same conclusions he did, and that reason is why they're experts. He essentially won a bet talks about it like he figured out how to beat poker. And if he recieved a torrent of negative feedback for his penchant for air filtering in 2012, that says a lot more about his friends and family than his very not radical adoption of home air filters less than 10 years ago? The whole sick building/mold aversion/exhaust fumes/smoke/spent cooking fuel/etc realm of AQ concerns has been a publicly accepted health concern waaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than 2012. Sharper Image was making a mint off of their Ionic Breeze air purifier at least a decade before that. Like I said, he's obviously a smart guy, but this whole 'they all laughed at me and look at me now!' narrative is just not that impressive.
  - indymike 5y ago
    I read the article as the author sharing how he was trying to be intelligent instead of appear intelligent. There are a surprising number of people who desire, above all, to be seen as the smartest person in the room.
  - Zababa 5y ago
    > narcissism and delusions of grandeur I'm not sure why you're painting him as having psychological issues based on a blog post. > He said he started wearing N95s several days before the initial r0 estimate was even published, and that he based his opinion on SARS-CoV-1 data which many relevant experts didn't think was applicable. There's a reason they didn't jump to the same conclusions he did, and that reason is why they're experts. The same experts that were telling the public that masks were useless in March 2020. Experts are not always giving the best recommendations for your specific case. > Like I said, he's obviously a smart guy, but this whole 'they all laughed at me and look at me now!' narrative is just not that impressive. That's a very uncharitable way of interpreting that blog post. I personally see it as "next time you feel too stupid to do something, think about that blog post and maybe I'll give you the strength needed to do something that will have a good outcome".
Ensorceled 5y ago
> The insurance dealer does his job and tries to get a higher premium? Not surprised. This is actually an example of where the author IS stupid. You will often be found "at fault" in cases where you are not actually at fault (the other driver lies better than your truth) and there are many cases (at least in Ontario) where you are legislatively at fault even if you did nothing out of the ordinary (making a left turn while overtaking traffic attempts to pass rather than yield). That the broker was trying to protect them from this isn't even a conflict of interest for the broker. I wonder how many insurance brokers encounter the "I'm such an amazing driver, I don't really need insurance." macho man ... I'm presuming the broker, at least initially, assumed the author was one of "those drivers" and not "stupid".
- blitzar 5y ago
  As with all voluntary insurance, Its the price, stupid. $100k for coverage on your car? No thanks. $1? Sure. $1 but covers litterally nothing and has a million dollar excess? No thanks.
- tux3 5y ago
  In defense of the author, maybe they have a dashcam and that's what increases their confidence. But that's where I see a problem: this (or another reasonable thing) is not something that would take long to explain. Looking stupid is a failure of communication. You're right, but you failed to give enough rope for others to follow, and that wastes everyone's time. The improvement I'd suggest is to dig into why someome thinks you look stupid. You could think "they must be stupid", but that, in itself, is an overly simplistic and inefficient model.
- pja 5y ago
  I think you’ve got that backwards - he wanted to only buy coverage for damage he did to other vehicles / people & not to cover his own vehicle. However, sometimes, for some drivers, fully comprehensive insurance can be cheaper than 3rd party only for arcane internal insurance risk-accounting reasons. So by not letting his agent even look at the whole market he was cutting himself off from the possibility of cheaper insurance.
rdiddly 5y ago
Good points, to which I'll add, how the heck is he surrounded by so many people who a) give a shit at all, and b) are so willing to let him know they think he's stupid? No one cares or dares in my case. Maybe it's my "tall privilege" again?
balsam 5y ago
Agreed—- it somehow ties into the opposite of the ability to fake sincerity: the inability to show sincerity. I am still traumatized by the times the second case happened. The times when people dismissed me because they thought (perhaps rightly?) that I was acting like a self entitled genius.. (and I am inferring, because why would normal intelligent adults say such things??) Another perhaps relevant thought, which is perhaps crass: If PG or Alan Kay ever claim that they are willing to look stupid, I feel like people would not believe them. On the other hand if Feynman does it, people would feel the sincerity. (At least the version of Feynman Feynman marketed, not the Feynman who couldnt suffer Gellman) Another thought: maybe its better to be willing to look immature.

ghufran_syed 5y ago

“What is the Apple store employee supposed to do to not make someone feel stupid when they ask for the smallest box?” Maybe ask the customer, “can I ask why you would like the one with the smallest box?” instead of making assumptions? Although note that this might also be classified as a question where the person asking is admitting they don’t understand why someone would want this aka “looking dumb” in the wording from the article

stavros 5y ago
I don't understand why he was asking for the smallest box, though? Isn't that an inefficient proxy? Wouldn't asking to see the computers have been more accurate?
- mbauman 5y ago
  I am really curious what his end goal here was. Apple's boxes are all very small — in what situation would a few centimeters in box size outweigh all other considerations?
  - ape4 5y ago
    The reason is obscure if nothing else.
  - mywittyname 5y ago
    I assume it has to do with sneaking the machine in and out of a place. The other alternative is something to do with storage. Maybe it's a backup machine they want hidden somewhere in case the feds seize all his electronics. That last one makes the most sense, and explains why he didn't divulge it. That way, when the author is raided, they aren't going to ask, "hey, where's that computer that, comes in the smallest box?" I'm imagining the author has this big book case, and one of the books is hallowed out and has an Apple machine in it. Maybe it's built into a false floor of a cabinet.
    - MauranKilom 5y ago
      But as the employee pointed out, smaller box does not mean smaller machine. And I don't see the point of hiding the machine with the box still around it.
  - prosaic-hacker 5y ago
    Not the OP. In my case the client want many all-in-ones.I proposed a small CPU to fit into the notches on the back of a Specific monitor. I used an Intel Compute stick which only needs power, an HDMI cable and a powered USB hub. This gave me an All in One Computer functionally for less than half the price. It also had the benefit of being up-gradable by swapping out the Compute stick for a newer model. When the client saw it he thought it was an all in one and thankfully appreciated the cleverness. (Financially, I got the contract)
- skygazer 5y ago
  I once give a laptop as a birthday present on a weekend trip with my girlfriend, traveling in a small two-seat convertible. I struggled somewhat to figure out how to pack presents without it being obvious I was bringing presents. Fortunately the laptop box was small enough to fit behind the seat. I don’t why the author needed a small box, but I did think of my experience when I read his anecdote. I think a large part of his appearing impaired is not even attempting to explain his rationales, suspicions or methods in the moment. His goal seems to be to engineer these awkward interactions, when they could be otherwise lubricated or alleviated. He’s acting as though other people and their understanding are irrelevant to him; they are furniture or fixtures that should trust and obey unquestioningly, which is a bit ironic.
- babelfish 5y ago
  The author's refusal to explain to the store employee why he wants the smallest box makes me think he actually is stupid, or at least lacks the emotional intelligence to understand that when someone is trying to help you, you should explain your intentions to them. If I worked at the Apple store, and somebody insisted they want the laptop in the 'smallest box' without explaining why, the only reasonable conclusion is that they're experiencing the XY problem. Not to mention that Macbooks of the same form factor all come in boxes of the same size, so there's a million other configuration options he'd need to provide... https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/66377/what-is-the-xy-problem https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/66377/what-is-the-x...
  - nzealand 5y ago
    I think that is the funniest part of this article. I read his post to the end looking for the answer to why he wanted the smallest box, furiously thinking of why. I could only think of three reasons that I rejected as unlikely. Frustrated, I came here to look at the comments. So many comments about the box. It's like the contents of the briefcase on Pulp Fiction. It's like a McGuffin that forces everyone to talk about his article.

jaclaz 5y ago

I had exactly the same impressions as you, and initially I thought that it was my non-native English interpretation (I felt sort of stupid), happy to know I am not the only one considering those examples (more-than-a-little) self-entitling the author as the ultimate genius on earth. It seems to me like he puts some intentionality in attempting to look stupid and a sort of satisfaction when this happens.

soneca 5y ago

Yes, he clearly states he thought that the student group that thought he was stupid were stupid. And later that the only people that would think his test thing was stupid would be the incompetent ones. So his thesis is also that stupid people assume that intelligent people are stupid. He considers himself more intelligent than those people. I wonder if he would be as willing to look stupid in front of people that he considers as intelligent as him. It sounded to me like he was saying: I am willing to look stupid to people that I consider inferior (dumber than me).

pksebben 5y ago
I read this more as: "stupid is an important step in the process of fostering smart". It's someone's unwillingness to look dumb that stalls them at the gate. I think this is the impetus behind the whole 'crawl, walk, run' thing. If you're always hot to trot and pushing an image of "I know everything already and I don't need to ask basic questions", you're never going to build the foundations of understanding necessary to construct more complex understandings.

Zababa 5y ago

On the other hand, he doesn't spend much time talking about the case that could have him die or the one that could have him go blind. If something like that happened to me, I would probably have a position like the author. There are also a few cases (COVID, air filtration) where people disagreeing with him had relatively serious health consequences.

chefandy 5y ago
While this guy is clearly smart, and willingness to ask simple questions is a worthy quality that many people possess, this is an article about what happens when decent intelligence and a good instinct is accompanied by narcissism and delusions of grandeur. Being right about something feels even better if other people thought you were wrong about it. With his COVID action— people disagreeing with him, at first, wasn't what had serious health consequences. He said he started wearing N95s several days before the initial r0 estimate was even published, and that he based his opinion on SARS-CoV-1 data which many relevant experts didn't think was applicable. There's a reason they didn't jump to the same conclusions he did, and that reason is why they're experts. He essentially won a bet talks about it like he figured out how to beat poker. And if he recieved a torrent of negative feedback for his penchant for air filtering in 2012, that says a lot more about his friends and family than his very not radical adoption of home air filters less than 10 years ago? The whole sick building/mold aversion/exhaust fumes/smoke/spent cooking fuel/etc realm of AQ concerns has been a publicly accepted health concern waaaaaaaaaaaaaay longer than 2012. Sharper Image was making a mint off of their Ionic Breeze air purifier at least a decade before that. Like I said, he's obviously a smart guy, but this whole 'they all laughed at me and look at me now!' narrative is just not that impressive.
- indymike 5y ago
  I read the article as the author sharing how he was trying to be intelligent instead of appear intelligent. There are a surprising number of people who desire, above all, to be seen as the smartest person in the room.
- Zababa 5y ago
  > narcissism and delusions of grandeur I'm not sure why you're painting him as having psychological issues based on a blog post. > He said he started wearing N95s several days before the initial r0 estimate was even published, and that he based his opinion on SARS-CoV-1 data which many relevant experts didn't think was applicable. There's a reason they didn't jump to the same conclusions he did, and that reason is why they're experts. The same experts that were telling the public that masks were useless in March 2020. Experts are not always giving the best recommendations for your specific case. > Like I said, he's obviously a smart guy, but this whole 'they all laughed at me and look at me now!' narrative is just not that impressive. That's a very uncharitable way of interpreting that blog post. I personally see it as "next time you feel too stupid to do something, think about that blog post and maybe I'll give you the strength needed to do something that will have a good outcome".

Ensorceled 5y ago

> The insurance dealer does his job and tries to get a higher premium? Not surprised. This is actually an example of where the author IS stupid. You will often be found "at fault" in cases where you are not actually at fault (the other driver lies better than your truth) and there are many cases (at least in Ontario) where you are legislatively at fault even if you did nothing out of the ordinary (making a left turn while overtaking traffic attempts to pass rather than yield). That the broker was trying to protect them from this isn't even a conflict of interest for the broker. I wonder how many insurance brokers encounter the "I'm such an amazing driver, I don't really need insurance." macho man ... I'm presuming the broker, at least initially, assumed the author was one of "those drivers" and not "stupid".

blitzar 5y ago
As with all voluntary insurance, Its the price, stupid. $100k for coverage on your car? No thanks. $1? Sure. $1 but covers litterally nothing and has a million dollar excess? No thanks.
tux3 5y ago
In defense of the author, maybe they have a dashcam and that's what increases their confidence. But that's where I see a problem: this (or another reasonable thing) is not something that would take long to explain. Looking stupid is a failure of communication. You're right, but you failed to give enough rope for others to follow, and that wastes everyone's time. The improvement I'd suggest is to dig into why someome thinks you look stupid. You could think "they must be stupid", but that, in itself, is an overly simplistic and inefficient model.
pja 5y ago
I think you’ve got that backwards - he wanted to only buy coverage for damage he did to other vehicles / people & not to cover his own vehicle. However, sometimes, for some drivers, fully comprehensive insurance can be cheaper than 3rd party only for arcane internal insurance risk-accounting reasons. So by not letting his agent even look at the whole market he was cutting himself off from the possibility of cheaper insurance.

rdiddly 5y ago

Good points, to which I'll add, how the heck is he surrounded by so many people who a) give a shit at all, and b) are so willing to let him know they think he's stupid? No one cares or dares in my case. Maybe it's my "tall privilege" again?

balsam 5y ago

Agreed—- it somehow ties into the opposite of the ability to fake sincerity: the inability to show sincerity. I am still traumatized by the times the second case happened. The times when people dismissed me because they thought (perhaps rightly?) that I was acting like a self entitled genius.. (and I am inferring, because why would normal intelligent adults say such things??) Another perhaps relevant thought, which is perhaps crass: If PG or Alan Kay ever claim that they are willing to look stupid, I feel like people would not believe them. On the other hand if Feynman does it, people would feel the sincerity. (At least the version of Feynman Feynman marketed, not the Feynman who couldnt suffer Gellman) Another thought: maybe its better to be willing to look immature.