4 ms·

My wife is a teacher. She (and some of her colleagues) do blame phones somewhat, but they blame parents even more. Not necessarily the individuals themselves, b

My wife is a teacher. She (and some of her colleagues) do blame phones somewhat, but they blame parents even more. Not necessarily the individuals themselves, but rather "parenting" and how society has changed that concept. Society has changed a lot. Compared to a few decades ago, in more households both parents are working. Moreover, I would assume that we (parents) spend more time working or thinking about work when we are at home. Which leads to less time focussing on family. My wife sees several symptoms of this: parents expect the school to fix/improve behavioral issues in their children (iso them). Parents now come with excuses for their children not doing their homework. Plenty more examples like this.. This could be the typical trope of "things were better when we were young". I do feel like parents these days spend less time raising their children. (which perhaps is partly due to.. phones, but I think is due to a much broader societal shift)

PeterisP 5y ago
IIRC all the stats show that nowadays parents spend significantly more time raising their children than they did a generation ago. E.g. here's one random analysis - https://qz.com/1143092/study-modern-parents-spend-more-time-with-their-kids-than-their-parents-spent-with-them/ https://qz.com/1143092/study-modern-parents-spend-more-time-...
- andruby 5y ago
  Thank you for that link. I guess I need to adjust my assumptions. I guess my assumption was based on the fact that women are increasingly more active in the workforce in the past few decades: https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/female-labor-force-participation-oecd https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/female-labor-force-partic... (roughly from 40% to 60%)
  - sjg007 5y ago
    Glad you are reconsidering your assumptions. Being a parent is hard. It is not like kids come with an instruction book especially for very difficult behaviors and other things like adhd, autism, anxiety and depression. "Parents expect the school to fix/improve behavioral issues in their children" Of course we do. The kids spend 7 hours a day in class and their behaviors directly impact what and how they learn. Regulating behavior is a life long skill that you learn. We send our kids off to school at age 5 typically. I am tired of the blame the parents trope. We know and have therapies and interventions to reinforce positive behaviors and the schools should be working with parents to help them learn how to apply these in both the home as well as school.
    - andruby 5y ago
      > Being a parent is hard. I know. I've got two kids and a third one on the way. I should have chosen my words better. Both parents and the school system are responsible for educating & raising children. There are some parents that expect the school to do most of that work. On the other hand, there are also parents that go above and beyond. Likewise some schools and teachers do an amazing job and can have a huge positive impact on our children, while other schools and teachers barely seem to care at all. I'm not sure what my take-away is. I'm just very disappointed whenever I hear (some) kids say that their parents barely make time for them. The parents typically say they are just "too busy".

PeterisP 5y ago

IIRC all the stats show that nowadays parents spend significantly more time raising their children than they did a generation ago. E.g. here's one random analysis - https://qz.com/1143092/study-modern-parents-spend-more-time-with-their-kids-than-their-parents-spent-with-them/ https://qz.com/1143092/study-modern-parents-spend-more-time-...

andruby 5y ago
Thank you for that link. I guess I need to adjust my assumptions. I guess my assumption was based on the fact that women are increasingly more active in the workforce in the past few decades: https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/female-labor-force-participation-oecd https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/female-labor-force-partic... (roughly from 40% to 60%)
- sjg007 5y ago
  Glad you are reconsidering your assumptions. Being a parent is hard. It is not like kids come with an instruction book especially for very difficult behaviors and other things like adhd, autism, anxiety and depression. "Parents expect the school to fix/improve behavioral issues in their children" Of course we do. The kids spend 7 hours a day in class and their behaviors directly impact what and how they learn. Regulating behavior is a life long skill that you learn. We send our kids off to school at age 5 typically. I am tired of the blame the parents trope. We know and have therapies and interventions to reinforce positive behaviors and the schools should be working with parents to help them learn how to apply these in both the home as well as school.
  - andruby 5y ago
    > Being a parent is hard. I know. I've got two kids and a third one on the way. I should have chosen my words better. Both parents and the school system are responsible for educating & raising children. There are some parents that expect the school to do most of that work. On the other hand, there are also parents that go above and beyond. Likewise some schools and teachers do an amazing job and can have a huge positive impact on our children, while other schools and teachers barely seem to care at all. I'm not sure what my take-away is. I'm just very disappointed whenever I hear (some) kids say that their parents barely make time for them. The parents typically say they are just "too busy".