5 ms·

> Just imagine how fraught trying to date would be if you were a young man in a university now and had heterosexual leanings. Not sure what you mean: - What d

> Just imagine how fraught trying to date would be if you were a young man in a university now and had heterosexual leanings. Not sure what you mean: - What does the difficulty of dating have to do with the education system? - My understanding is that the abundance of dating apps should have made dating significantly easier nowadays than in the past. Is that not the case? - Why is sexuality relevant for this point? The article is primarily focused on gender

collegeburner 5y ago
No, dating apps are mostly for hookups and that kind of thing. Ive heard a few sucecss stories but almost no long term relationships from them. I think thats more when people get older and not so many are looking for hookups any more that dating apps are more helpful. Though tbh I probably wouldnt want to date someone 5-7 years from now who used to have a lot of hookups, same with a lot of guys I know, so it will be interesting to see what those people do in the future.
- mattzito 5y ago
  Isn't it possible that women are less interested in long-term relationships in college than they used to be? My parents generation, many women went to college to get their "mrs" - my generation, people dated casually, but most didn't expect to marry someone they dated in college, because they didn't plan to get married for years and years (until they had a career, were established, etc.). Stands to reason if that trend continues, there's even less value in long-term relationships. in college (and my limited anecdata supports that).
  - collegeburner 5y ago
    Oh not just it's possible, it is absolutely the case. There are still some who intend to settle down earlier but for probably the majority now it's the case. The interesting problem will be that maybe not as many guys will want to marry a 35-year-old.
    - mattzito 5y ago
      > maybe not as many guys will want to marry a 35-year-old. Maybe! Though if the 25-year-old women don't want to get married, and the 30-year-old women are just starting to think about it, the primary options for guys will be the 35-year-olds.
      - BlargMcLarg 5y ago
        Option C: men don't want to marry the older women, women don't want to marry until they are older, so they don't get married. Who loses out most in this situation has yet to be decided, though some anecdotes and (admittedly weak) sources suggest this isn't a net benefit to either sex.
- ssully 5y ago
  I went to 3 weddings this year, and each couple being married met on dating apps. If anything my single friends biggest complaint is that apps are the defacto way of dating, even before the pandemic. Your options were basically apps, mutual introduction, or bars. Even bars I would say were slowing down, at least amongst my age group, because everyone was so busy with work, or just general life stuff. Also you are dating yourself with that last sentence.
  - collegeburner 5y ago
    Yeah that's what I mean, dating apps are more a thing when most people start looking to settle down. > Also you are dating yourself with that last sentence. Nice pun but no, I am typical college age. I dont see how it's "dating myself" to not want to marry somebody in 7-10 years who hooks up a lot now.
    - mattzito 5y ago
      What would you define as "a lot"?
      - collegeburner 5y ago
        Greater than 1 time? I get if somebody gets drunk and makes a call they regret later but wouldnt want somebody who hooked up a lot as a pattern of behavior. For me, and for the people I know who want long term relationships (guys and girls), none of us want somebody who sleep around a lot ages 18 to 35 then decide to settle down and get married. Seems guys are more averse to this though, tbh I dont much like the idea of marrying somebody after her most attractive years are past, and waiting 35 years of my life for a stable relationship before then. Out of curiosity what would you define as "a lot"?
        mattzito 5y ago
        > greater than 1 time Most people have ~5-8 sexual partners, so that’s not that likely. As far as what I think is a lot, if I’m seeing someone who slept around a lot, if they did it because they enjoy sex and were having healthy sexual relationships, I really don’t care about the number. If anything, the women who have more experience are more open and confident. I guess the last time I thought “man maybe that’s getting to be a high number”, a friend of mine crossed the 50-partner mark. Sooo, I suppose that’s the general zone of “a lot”. But I don’t ascribe any moral or character issues to that number.

collegeburner 5y ago

No, dating apps are mostly for hookups and that kind of thing. Ive heard a few sucecss stories but almost no long term relationships from them. I think thats more when people get older and not so many are looking for hookups any more that dating apps are more helpful. Though tbh I probably wouldnt want to date someone 5-7 years from now who used to have a lot of hookups, same with a lot of guys I know, so it will be interesting to see what those people do in the future.

mattzito 5y ago
Isn't it possible that women are less interested in long-term relationships in college than they used to be? My parents generation, many women went to college to get their "mrs" - my generation, people dated casually, but most didn't expect to marry someone they dated in college, because they didn't plan to get married for years and years (until they had a career, were established, etc.). Stands to reason if that trend continues, there's even less value in long-term relationships. in college (and my limited anecdata supports that).
- collegeburner 5y ago
  Oh not just it's possible, it is absolutely the case. There are still some who intend to settle down earlier but for probably the majority now it's the case. The interesting problem will be that maybe not as many guys will want to marry a 35-year-old.
  - mattzito 5y ago
    > maybe not as many guys will want to marry a 35-year-old. Maybe! Though if the 25-year-old women don't want to get married, and the 30-year-old women are just starting to think about it, the primary options for guys will be the 35-year-olds.
    - BlargMcLarg 5y ago
      Option C: men don't want to marry the older women, women don't want to marry until they are older, so they don't get married. Who loses out most in this situation has yet to be decided, though some anecdotes and (admittedly weak) sources suggest this isn't a net benefit to either sex.
ssully 5y ago
I went to 3 weddings this year, and each couple being married met on dating apps. If anything my single friends biggest complaint is that apps are the defacto way of dating, even before the pandemic. Your options were basically apps, mutual introduction, or bars. Even bars I would say were slowing down, at least amongst my age group, because everyone was so busy with work, or just general life stuff. Also you are dating yourself with that last sentence.
- collegeburner 5y ago
  Yeah that's what I mean, dating apps are more a thing when most people start looking to settle down. > Also you are dating yourself with that last sentence. Nice pun but no, I am typical college age. I dont see how it's "dating myself" to not want to marry somebody in 7-10 years who hooks up a lot now.
  - mattzito 5y ago
    What would you define as "a lot"?
    - collegeburner 5y ago
      Greater than 1 time? I get if somebody gets drunk and makes a call they regret later but wouldnt want somebody who hooked up a lot as a pattern of behavior. For me, and for the people I know who want long term relationships (guys and girls), none of us want somebody who sleep around a lot ages 18 to 35 then decide to settle down and get married. Seems guys are more averse to this though, tbh I dont much like the idea of marrying somebody after her most attractive years are past, and waiting 35 years of my life for a stable relationship before then. Out of curiosity what would you define as "a lot"?
      - mattzito 5y ago
        > greater than 1 time Most people have ~5-8 sexual partners, so that’s not that likely. As far as what I think is a lot, if I’m seeing someone who slept around a lot, if they did it because they enjoy sex and were having healthy sexual relationships, I really don’t care about the number. If anything, the women who have more experience are more open and confident. I guess the last time I thought “man maybe that’s getting to be a high number”, a friend of mine crossed the 50-partner mark. Sooo, I suppose that’s the general zone of “a lot”. But I don’t ascribe any moral or character issues to that number.