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I can't say anything proactive about this situation.. but I can say things. Do you find that the emotional juice of a situation is more primary than the logic o

I can't say anything proactive about this situation.. but I can say things. Do you find that the emotional juice of a situation is more primary than the logic of a situation? Like, people feel something and then rationalize the logic to justify their feeling. I have found that using feelingswheel to get a firmer grasp on the specific emotional chords, connections and common "songs" I tend to play, etc, has increased my ability to identify and categorize emotions on a finer level. Categorization is the least thing that must be done in order to process hurt. The brain will try to process a situation until it understands it, and it can require using emotional intuition to identify the exact feeling, as if it were a chord played on a piano, where some notes are hit more than others. It's important to categorize granular feelings (like indignant is a form of anger whereby you're upset that something is unfair) (embarassment can be a sad hurt or a disapproving disgust) (some feelings lead to other feelings) (dismissive anger is repressed by default from feeling like anger) Some people don't have true feelings, because they will automatically convert one feeling to another. Instead of feeling angry sometimes and happy other times, they feel the liminal angry/happy feeling that feels like a mecurial wire of an emotion. For instance: if they're happy, they become angry that they aren't happy more often; if they're angry about something, they're glad that they finally have something to be mad about.

icu 5y ago
Thank you for mentioning the Feelings Wheel. I never knew it existed and when I looked it up I could immediately see its use with my parenting as my son struggles to express his emotional state. I wonder if you've used it, or the Emotion Wheel, with children or for other use cases like conflict resolution in the workplace?
- danschumann 5y ago
  I've found benefit across all areas of life. When dealing with other people, I find it helpful to at least be cognizant of the main emotional category, but it's easier to feel the specificity in yourself than in others.
skim_milk 5y ago
>people feel something and then rationalize the logic to justify their feeling Kind of sounds like projection. Depending on who you ask, it's generally understood in psychology that children raised by cold/rejecting/invalidating/selfish/abusive parents develop it to cope with having age-appropriate emotions that offend their parents. It could be perceived as a way to manipulate/convince the cold/rejecting parents into giving them what the child needs (food, attention, etc.) without feeling bad for having their age-appropriate, healthy needs - a habit that outlasts its need and stays through adulthood to the detriment of everyone. A healthy response would be to not feel bad for having feelings and, due to successfully developing self-acceptance, integrate/communicate all their emotions and rationality in a healthy way.

icu 5y ago

Thank you for mentioning the Feelings Wheel. I never knew it existed and when I looked it up I could immediately see its use with my parenting as my son struggles to express his emotional state. I wonder if you've used it, or the Emotion Wheel, with children or for other use cases like conflict resolution in the workplace?

danschumann 5y ago
I've found benefit across all areas of life. When dealing with other people, I find it helpful to at least be cognizant of the main emotional category, but it's easier to feel the specificity in yourself than in others.

skim_milk 5y ago

>people feel something and then rationalize the logic to justify their feeling Kind of sounds like projection. Depending on who you ask, it's generally understood in psychology that children raised by cold/rejecting/invalidating/selfish/abusive parents develop it to cope with having age-appropriate emotions that offend their parents. It could be perceived as a way to manipulate/convince the cold/rejecting parents into giving them what the child needs (food, attention, etc.) without feeling bad for having their age-appropriate, healthy needs - a habit that outlasts its need and stays through adulthood to the detriment of everyone. A healthy response would be to not feel bad for having feelings and, due to successfully developing self-acceptance, integrate/communicate all their emotions and rationality in a healthy way.