3 ms·

We have a few in France, but I don't thing they are that popular. > Do young people in big European cities have no problems with finding a place to meet friend

by Zababa 5y ago

We have a few in France, but I don't thing they are that popular. > Do young people in big European cities have no problems with finding a place to meet friends? It's a mystery to me too how people do this. From what I understand it's mostly through studies and/or work.

jeltz 5y ago
I would say it is the same in Sweden we have a few of these places here too but most people make friends through studies or work.
- qwerty456127 5y ago
  To me work seems a very wrong place for this. Mixing personal and work worlds sounds like a terrible idea. And I hate when people I meet ask me anything about my job (although the job is nothing special). As for the university though - quite the opposite, I actually consider the friends you make there the number-one value to attend it for, all the actual education can be gotten from free (incl. some pirate like LibGen and SciHub) sources on the Internet, often more efficiently.
  - deleted 5y ago
    [deleted]
  - Zababa 5y ago
    Interesting, I don't think about it this way. I don't mind friends at work, though those are usually less close to me than friends I made in school/university/on the internet. For university, yes you can get the actual education for free, but a diploma is a very good safety net, at least in France, and usually a requirement for people to consider your application. I also liked the freedom it gave me, I had a few years to "breathe" between high-school and working. University is also very cheap in France, I paid less than 1000€ for a master's degree in computer science/software engineering.
    - qwerty456127 5y ago
      > I don't mind friends at work, though those are usually less close Neither do I, but exactly the second part. Those are people you would probably feel sympathetic to, care about and enjoy a drink with occasionally but not have sex with (this can ruin everything), invite to your wedding or actually want to visit your home any often. But an Anti-Café is a totally different story: you meet relaxed, intentionally open complete strangers there, having no interest in you other than your actual person and having good time with you, and the magic happens. There I had some happiest moments in my life (without alcohol - almost unimaginable when colleagues meet outside the office) and met the only people who I consider my "soulmates". Needless to say we never mentioned our jobs until years passed and a genuine reason to discuss something job-related emerged. > but a diploma is a very good safety net, at least in France, and usually a requirement for people to consider your application Outside IT, right? According to my experience a diploma (unless it's a PhD in machine learning) means little in the IT sector. They mostly want experience, knowledge and some also intelligence of some sort (you know, the Interview puzzles), also some basic EQ perhaps.
jstummbillig 5y ago
> It's a mystery to me too how people do this. Well, increasingly, they just don't – physically. More people are living alone(1) – which I interpret as a decent indicator for decline of physical connections overall – but since the feeling of being alone is not increasing(2), internet/social media seem to make up for the difference(3, 4). (1) https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/one-person-households https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/one-person-households (2) https://ourworldindata.org/uploads/2019/12/declining-loneliness-of-US-students-1536x1075.png https://ourworldindata.org/uploads/2019/12/declining-lonelin... (3) https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/users-by-social-media-platform?time=2004..2018&country=Facebook~Instagram~MySpace~Pinterest~Reddit~Snapchat~TikTok~Tumblr~Twitter~WeChat~Whatsapp~YouTube https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/users-by-social-media-pla... (4) https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/daily-time-spent-on-the-internet-by-young-people https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/daily-time-spent-on-the-i...
- Zababa 5y ago
  Caveat: your point about level of loneliness is a study on high-school students. They are a small part of one-person households. I think a study on young adults (20-25, 25-30) would be more relevent.

by Zababa 5y ago

jeltz 5y ago

I would say it is the same in Sweden we have a few of these places here too but most people make friends through studies or work.

qwerty456127 5y ago
To me work seems a very wrong place for this. Mixing personal and work worlds sounds like a terrible idea. And I hate when people I meet ask me anything about my job (although the job is nothing special). As for the university though - quite the opposite, I actually consider the friends you make there the number-one value to attend it for, all the actual education can be gotten from free (incl. some pirate like LibGen and SciHub) sources on the Internet, often more efficiently.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- Zababa 5y ago
  Interesting, I don't think about it this way. I don't mind friends at work, though those are usually less close to me than friends I made in school/university/on the internet. For university, yes you can get the actual education for free, but a diploma is a very good safety net, at least in France, and usually a requirement for people to consider your application. I also liked the freedom it gave me, I had a few years to "breathe" between high-school and working. University is also very cheap in France, I paid less than 1000€ for a master's degree in computer science/software engineering.
  - qwerty456127 5y ago
    > I don't mind friends at work, though those are usually less close Neither do I, but exactly the second part. Those are people you would probably feel sympathetic to, care about and enjoy a drink with occasionally but not have sex with (this can ruin everything), invite to your wedding or actually want to visit your home any often. But an Anti-Café is a totally different story: you meet relaxed, intentionally open complete strangers there, having no interest in you other than your actual person and having good time with you, and the magic happens. There I had some happiest moments in my life (without alcohol - almost unimaginable when colleagues meet outside the office) and met the only people who I consider my "soulmates". Needless to say we never mentioned our jobs until years passed and a genuine reason to discuss something job-related emerged. > but a diploma is a very good safety net, at least in France, and usually a requirement for people to consider your application Outside IT, right? According to my experience a diploma (unless it's a PhD in machine learning) means little in the IT sector. They mostly want experience, knowledge and some also intelligence of some sort (you know, the Interview puzzles), also some basic EQ perhaps.

jstummbillig 5y ago

> It's a mystery to me too how people do this. Well, increasingly, they just don't – physically. More people are living alone(1) – which I interpret as a decent indicator for decline of physical connections overall – but since the feeling of being alone is not increasing(2), internet/social media seem to make up for the difference(3, 4). (1) https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/one-person-households https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/one-person-households (2) https://ourworldindata.org/uploads/2019/12/declining-loneliness-of-US-students-1536x1075.png https://ourworldindata.org/uploads/2019/12/declining-lonelin... (3) https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/users-by-social-media-platform?time=2004..2018&country=Facebook~Instagram~MySpace~Pinterest~Reddit~Snapchat~TikTok~Tumblr~Twitter~WeChat~Whatsapp~YouTube https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/users-by-social-media-pla... (4) https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/daily-time-spent-on-the-internet-by-young-people https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/daily-time-spent-on-the-i...

Zababa 5y ago
Caveat: your point about level of loneliness is a study on high-school students. They are a small part of one-person households. I think a study on young adults (20-25, 25-30) would be more relevent.