This is classic abusive behavior. Sorry, I don't know your mother and I don't like to cast aspersions, but when you identify abuse, you should withdraw yourself

This is classic abusive behavior. Sorry, I don't know your mother and I don't like to cast aspersions, but when you identify abuse, you should withdraw yourself from it if you are able. Move away (to a city, at least a few hrs away, further is even better) and build a new life somewhere else. Meet people, get involved in things, sleep only when you must. "So sorry family, life drew me to XXX and I miss you terribly too!" -- this is the narration to describe so many happy and healthy people's familial relationships. Family that cares about you will respond with "we're really happy for you, but we miss seeing you", family that does not care will respond with "how could you leave?". You can decide for yourself how to deal with people who do not care about you, but you can do it from far enough away that it doesn't have to occupy so much of your mental energy.