The immoderate version of this kind of setting boundaries can be percieved as rejecting normal reciprocity. There's also probably a cliché that the lack of boun

The immoderate version of this kind of setting boundaries can be percieved as rejecting normal reciprocity. There's also probably a cliché that the lack of boundaries is for meek personalities, but charismatic personalities also lack them. Russell Brand is a great example of a charismatic personality who seems to lack personal boundaries, and being creative is all about testing them, so it's not always bad or an anti-pattern, but being unable to manage it means you aren't getting value from it - literally, unmanaged. It can manifest either as being overly submissive and accomodating while accumulating resentment in the meek case, or being unable to handle silence and being overly diplomatic or entertaining in the charismatic case. Not having consistent personal boundaries can create the expectation for others to reciprocate the lack of boundaries we present with. It becomes very bad news when you resent others for not reciprocating all the "nice" things you did for them to avoid their perceived disappointment. Anyway, when you promote someone out of an IC role to a management role, the initial struggle is often due to this FODO habit that they were rewarded for and it was the thing that helped them succeed as an IC, but hampers them as a leader. What got you here isn't what you need for the next stage, etc. The concept is so important, I wish it were part of a common curriculum. This named FODO anxiety is the underlying factor in a number of anti-patterns, like what bullies exploit, how large groups of people become cowed, how some personalities can derail teams. This writer is telling us why we should manage this, whereas I think everyone should be responsible for developing the ability to manage FODO as a life skill.