This is not how experienced or skilled managers handle it, this is how abusive incompetent managers act if people let them get away with it. The behavior you de

This is not how experienced or skilled managers handle it, this is how abusive incompetent managers act if people let them get away with it. The behavior you describe is both unprofessional (as in, ineffective) and immoral. The proper response to a manager suggesting something like you describe is "fuck you" in just as many words - have some self-respect, tolerating it is masochistic nonsense, there's no reasonable reason to pay out of your pocket for company needs. If they're your top boss then you don't want to work for people like that (and you don't want references from people like that); even if you're desperate, find a way out and quit (because most companies are not how you describe); if there's anybody above them, such a request (pay out of your pocket for webserver or backups) should be escalated with a "this is unacceptable, either you replace this manager or replace me" - not as an empty threat, but as a real course of action; because if the top management considers it acceptable, again, you should not be working there. The IT job market isn't that bad anywhere so that sombeody would need to tolerate abuse that hits both your wallet and self-respect.